Did you ever get so nonplussed by something, so gobsmacked, that you felt disoriented? A maze of next actions presents themselves and none of them seemed cogent? Well, I should listen to my inner, more intelligent conscious versus the lizard brain, because my IC, or intelligent conscious, of which I do have little of, is telling me to just let it go, be quiet, don’t let it bug me. But man oh man is my lizard brain giving me very alternate, and perhaps socially dangerous, advice. Let’s let Ambassador Ego step in for a moment – she reminded me of a blog post Sheep T.D. wrote about how the WoW community is an inclusive one, that nerds do not exclude. I read it quickly, so maybe I misunderstood, because my knee-jerk reaction was nerds are the most exclusive group there is. Sheep – my apologies – I can’t find the one post I’m thinking about, and if you read my trashy blog can you please remind me? Consider it a favor among academics?) But before I provide what Ambassador Ego advised, I’ll just tell you that I was part of a certain WoW community on a very popular social media venue. I have many friends in this community, And then I was soundly, and clearly, excommunicated by its leader. Publicly, with shame, chastisement, and a hearty “Stay off my wave, Valley [sic]” from its leader.
I was told yesterday by a dear friend regarding another leader I know that I am too trusting, that I don’t think in devious or hurtful ways, so when I have these epiphanies about others’ motivations/agendas I am newly shocked and disappointed. I always expect the best from people, and no – I am not always disappointed. Far from it. I recognize and celebrate when someone does something that is of good character, too. But one thing that never disappoints or surprises me is when people tell you who they are, listen. Seriously. If they tell you others have called them an asshole, on more than one occasion, listen. If they talk behind your back, and you hear it, listen. If they continually slam the door in your face, hear the sound of the welcome mat being yanked out from under you. One subtextual disappointment is that others continue to support this behavior by their presence. But truly, I’m not interested in what others do, and once again I am reminded that the toughest actions are those we have control over. Which are most of them.
Back to Sheep: again, I wish I could find that one post. It reminded me of some insight I had when I first started playing, that many of the players, not all by any stretch, are grown men who find ego soothing for perhaps when they were teenagers, made fun of for being a nerd and not the cool jock. Unfortunately, there is a class of nerd that has the ego of the stereotypical jocks, and the smugness that accompanies them. These are no ‘welcome to my fort’ kind of boys/men. And yes, it tends to be men. You may call me on my casual sexism if you wish, you’re welcome to. Most women I’ve encountered are some of the nicest, smartest, most welcoming people I know (and most of the men in game, too). So I’ll meet you halfway: like the minority of players who are women who expect to be ‘given’ things is mythical in my opinion, however the minority of men who trend toward nerd-asshattery is fairly common. It’s kind of a ‘little man syndrome’ thing in pixels.
Yesterday before my social network smack-down, I worked on making a new path for myself in my real life. I did listen (it takes a while for things to get through my thick skull). I asked for advice from those I trust on how to go about this, and received this advice. This summer is going to be a time of life reorganization, and I’ve already begun the process. I’ve always felt it’s better to run to something than run from something.
Next week I’ll be starting a writing seminar session that will last for two weeks. I cannot wait. I am in such a rut right now, that it’s going to take a grand change of scenery and conversations to get me out of it.
In Azerothian news, besides from realizing I may never get Garrosh in normal mode because of, well, so many things. I’ve done this as Kellda and others in Flex and so many normal raids up to him, but…but I don’t want to lose heart yet. Momokawa is at the stage of the cloak quest at the Thunder Forge, which I hate. Hate. Hate so much. Hate.
And indeed, how can I stay annoyed when there are beautiful angels like this in Azeroth? I mean, just look at her! It’s my world, too, little men of Azeroth. With blessing and abundance of friends and riches.
Mr. Snerguls here: Update: I really need to keep better track of what I read. It was an article on Grimmtooth’s blog: http://wowblog.grimmlabs.com/archives/1878 not Sheep’s. Both are superlative blogs, and I highly recommend them.