RTMT on a Random Wednesday Morning….And XAK COME BACK

Did you ever get so nonplussed by something, so gobsmacked, that you felt disoriented? A maze of next actions presents themselves and none of them seemed cogent? Well, I should listen to my inner, more intelligent conscious versus the lizard brain, because my IC, or  intelligent conscious, of which I do have little of, is telling me to just let it go, be quiet, don’t let it bug me. But man oh man is my lizard brain giving me very alternate, and perhaps socially dangerous, advice. Let’s let Ambassador Ego step in for a moment – she reminded me of a blog post Sheep T.D. wrote about how the WoW community is an inclusive one, that nerds do not exclude. I read it quickly, so maybe I misunderstood, because my knee-jerk reaction was nerds are the most exclusive group there is. Sheep – my apologies – I can’t find the one post I’m thinking about, and if you read my trashy blog can you please remind me? Consider it a favor among academics?) But before I provide what Ambassador Ego advised, I’ll just tell you that I was part of a certain WoW community on a very popular social media venue. I have many friends in this community, And then I was soundly, and clearly, excommunicated by its leader. Publicly, with shame, chastisement, and a hearty “Stay off my wave, Valley [sic]” from its leader.

I was told yesterday by a dear friend regarding another leader I know that I am too trusting, that I don’t think in devious or hurtful ways, so when I have these epiphanies about others’ motivations/agendas I am newly shocked and disappointed. I always expect the best from people, and no – I am not always disappointed. Far from it. I recognize and celebrate when someone does something that is of good character, too. But one thing that never disappoints or surprises me is when people tell you who they are, listen. Seriously. If they tell you others have called them an asshole, on more than one occasion, listen. If they talk behind your back, and you hear it, listen. If they continually slam the door in your face, hear the sound of the welcome mat being yanked out from under you. One subtextual disappointment is that others continue to support this behavior by their presence. But truly, I’m not interested in what others do, and once again I am reminded that the toughest actions are those we have control over. Which are most of them.

/sigh

Back to Sheep: again, I wish I could find that one post. It reminded me of some insight I had when I first started playing, that many of the players, not all by any stretch, are grown men who find ego soothing for perhaps when they were teenagers, made fun of for being a nerd and not the cool jock. Unfortunately, there is a class of nerd that has the ego of the stereotypical jocks, and the smugness that accompanies them. These are no ‘welcome to my fort’ kind of boys/men. And yes, it tends to be men. You may call me on my casual sexism if you wish, you’re welcome to. Most women I’ve encountered are some of the nicest, smartest, most welcoming people I know (and most of the men in game, too). So I’ll meet you halfway: like the minority of players who are women who expect to be ‘given’ things is mythical in my opinion, however the minority of men who trend toward nerd-asshattery is fairly common. It’s kind of a ‘little man syndrome’ thing in pixels.

Yesterday before my social network smack-down, I worked on making a new path for myself in my real life. I did listen (it takes a while for things to get through my thick skull). I asked for advice from those I trust on how to go about this, and received this advice. This summer is going to be a time of life reorganization, and I’ve already begun the process. I’ve always felt it’s better to run to something than run from something.

Next week I’ll be starting a writing seminar session that will last for two weeks. I cannot wait. I am in such a rut right now, that it’s going to take a grand change of scenery and conversations to get me out of it.

In Azerothian news, besides from realizing I may never get Garrosh in normal mode because of, well, so many things. I’ve done this as Kellda and others in Flex and so many normal raids up to him, but…but I don’t want to lose heart yet. Momokawa is at the stage of the cloak quest at the Thunder Forge, which I hate. Hate. Hate so much. Hate.

Okay. Sorry.

And indeed, how can I stay annoyed when there are beautiful angels like this in Azeroth? I mean, just look at her! It’s my world, too, little men of Azeroth. With blessing and abundance of friends and riches.

Angel Girl
Angel Girl

 

 

 

 

 

Note: Even the word “nonplussed” has two completely different meanings: one means confused and the other not confused or perturbed. Oh English, stop it.

Mr. Snerguls here: Update: I really need to keep better track of what I read. It was an article on Grimmtooth’s blog: http://wowblog.grimmlabs.com/archives/1878 not Sheep’s. Both are superlative blogs, and I highly recommend them.

7 thoughts on “RTMT on a Random Wednesday Morning….And XAK COME BACK”

    1. /poke back
      hey!! summer is here my friend: I’ve whispered Shel a few times but she must have been AFK – I’m here and ready to RUMMMMBBBLE!

  1. You’re blog post is unfair and sorely one-sided.

    I know I am usually the quiet one in vent and chat, but I do feel the need to speak up to clarify a couple points.

    1. You were not “excommunicated” from the social media page, you left. No one asked you to leave. Log called you out on something, and you bailed. Period.

    2. Even before that, you left the guild. Again, no one asked you to leave, and no one /gkicked you either. With that in mind, when you leave a guild, you give up any rights, perks, and/or opinions within the confines of the guild. Log called you out for giving your opinion on a serious guild matter. Had he wanted public opinion, he would have posted it to a public forum. Any GM worth his salt would have taken umbrage with a non-guildie putting their two cents into guild business. As for your continued membership into the private group, Log allowed it because you still would PUG with us during raids, and had some friends in the guild. For that particular discussion that you unfortunately felt compelled to pass your wisdom on, you should have just kept silent.

    On this particular blog post, you have portrayed yourself as the innocent victim with infinite introspection and wisdom, and Log as the Asshole Tyrant with Small-Man Complex. That could be further from the truth. I have watched as he made a lot of allowances to foster a positive environment for you to raid in, not to mention a fair number of others who came in ill-prepared with an expectation to be carried. Nothing he tried worked, and was left with a bunch of bitter players who got gear, and then split. You have printed assumptions about a man you know little about, and have missed the mark on all counts.

    To run a successful guild, you have to be tough, but fair. To be a good leader, sometimes you have to make the tough choices. If that makes you an asshole, then that is a title I would proudly wear.

    1. Obviously not being privy to the exact circumstances, I am making general observations here, but a couple of your points are lacking.

      1. You can be excommunicated without being asked to leave. It just means you are no longer considered to be a worthy part of the group. Just because Matty left doesn’t necessarily mean she wasn’t excommunicated or ostracised.

      2. “…when you leave a guild you give up any…opinions within the confines of the guild.”
      Bullshit. If you are still a part of the group, you have every right to voice an opinion. Any GM worth his or her salt would treat everyone with respect, instead of publicly shaming someone for simply putting their two cents in to a discussion. Unless the shaming was about Matty being abusive towards others – which I highly doubt – there is NO reason to turn on her for having her say. I don’t care how obnoxious or condescending or smug or whatever her phrasing was, a public shaming is uncalled for. A good leader would handle their problem in private (a good leader would not be taking umbrage at an ex-guildie having her say on a guild-related topic, either, btw).
      Regardless of how Matty behaved – she has admitted many times that she’s not always the most tactful person – unless she was abusive then she has every right to be upset about her subsequent treatment. And yes, publicly shaming and chastising someone for simply daring to voice an opinion on something they no longer have a direct investment in, is the behaviour of an arsehole. If you support that behaviour, that makes you an arsehole too.

      1. The thing is – and always – I did ask and offer many options, support and other characters that would better serve the needs of the guild. I do have many friends all over Azeroth, and have often wished we could have ‘guilds without walls’. It’s one thing I love about this …game? hobby? avocation? is it’s brought me friends from all over my own country and the world. What an amazing gift.

        As to the ‘boys club’ sort of thinking, this is a very real factor of exclusion in Azeroth. This has nothing to do with this situation – I’ve just had a belly-full of this. The cure, however, are great friends. Now onto more fun things!

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