Happy New Year, "Imbecil."

Not much lost in translation…that’s Portuguese, not Spanish, by the way: Google translator politely showed me the way.


Sometimes I weep for humans, especially ignorant, racist, jackass humans, of the United States variety specifically. Possibly because this is my native country, and idealistically, naively, and am operating under the delusion that we have such potential to be great, because we were literally handed the operating manual and instructions, scribed in ink and blood, and if we could just all pull our heads out of our…dark places…then somehow we would see how cool our country, our people, are. But alas, I fear, this is not the case: U.S. continues to slide precipitously down the path of poor education, cycles of poverty, and government misdeeds.


But no matter, in Azeroth, we leave all that behind, right?

Warrior/dps role: racist jerk: How do I know this? Because when our comrades spoke what we thought was Spanish, he said racist things. I told him to stop. He didn’t.

Paladin tank: Kept asking for ‘bikkies” and meant biscuits, or cookies. Said he was from “antartica.” I said cool, but you misspelled it. Now, maybe in another language it’s spelled that way, but in my dictionary, it’s spelled “Antarctica.” When he asked for bikkies, that tipped me off that he may have been from Australia, and he may well indeed be from Antarctica, or maybe he was just a jokester from Australia who doesn’t know how to spell Antarctica. Or, perhaps he wasn’t really asking for mana cakes after all, but ecstasy pills. Sorry, dude, don’t have that in my spell book. 

Priest and Boomkin: Portuguese – from Brazil? Portugal? 
Mage/me: Fire mage extraordinaire and defender of truth and justice. 

Now, here is what I do think, and dare I say the four-letter word, “hope?” — I think there is going to be some backlash here soon. Maybe not backlash per se, an intolerance of the cowards on the Internet, but something is going to change. When the mouthbreathers and knuckle-draggers stop getting their way, perhaps. That is my hope for the New Year, and I plan on doing what I can outside of Azeroth to enlighten and mentor those whom I personally have an area of effect. 

“Sure would be nice to not have an idiot who starts a search when everyone is not ready.”


The hard larger truth is, and I am saying this on good authority, is that not everyone will be ready at the same time. But it will take leaders to actually lead, show the way: don’t look toward some figurehead or elected official, not some ‘other.’  I wish you all courage, kindness, and love this  year, and for years after. And for heaven’s sake, when you’re spending time with beautiful jewel-colored pixels, chill.

Haanta checks out her friend’s new transmog look. Boy, that sure is a suit of armor!


Half-a** Holiday, or "Stop Fighting in the Road."

Compulsively, or usually, I finish projects. This particular winter vacation, however, my actions have been somewhat fragmented. Take the tree down? Sure. Leave three boxes next to it and hope elves come and wrap up the ornaments and haul the carcass away (actually, I pay Boy Scouts to do that). Need those pants ironed? If I lay them next to the iron the wrinkles will magically disappear! Not sure what I had in mind, but now my vacation is almost over, and time to make those resolutions. One year I resolved that I would always match my pairs of socks right out of the dryer, so as to never lose one again, and by God, I managed that one for years.

The point of this tedious thought is this: I feel I am kind of at a crossroads here. I look at my hesitation for just jumping in with Zeptepi into the new dungeons again, or the LFR for that matter, and Luperci the Tripping Tail Tank, as a symptom of a larger malady. I had also intended to use this time to write, let the creative juices baste my imagination turkey (oh wow….I did not just write that), but alas, my muse seems to have gone to the Bahamas and has no intention of coming back. Hell, he left faster than Paul Gauguin can leave his French family for Polynesian goddess. Can’t say I blame him. I stopped and noticed the absurd lack of light here in the northwest this time of year. Only Tom Robbins has been able to describe the Seattle area sky adequately. 
If you want to read a story about a red-headed princess and a wayward rogue, this is your story. Oh, a pack of Camel cigarettes has a starring role, too.
Maybe in the quest for valor I need to look at things differently: first, do the tough ones first, such as the healer or tank, and then dps wünderkind, Mataoka. I’ve been capping out her valor first because it’s easy, with the notion that “I’ll do the others later.” Later doesn’t happen. Second, maybe just say the heck with it. Maybe I am just a leveling dork after all. I did end up giving my death knight Morphemia to someone who can make her shine (she is now a human male DK–change hurts), and so far have no regrets. I have been having a fire-ball leveling Magadora, and my buddy has been helping me get Rökkr to a workable state (she’ll be level 70 soon). The other diversion has been leveling Haanta as a PVP hunter with my dear friend. People can downgrade PVP all they want, but it is a different style of play and strategy that can be very satisfying, and not just when my side wins–though of course that is nice. I treat it more like a game of touch football or pick up basketball game. The level of fun comes from the synergy. And, advice for Tol Barad: defend, defend, defend. And always, stop fighting in the road. Just stake a claim, get it done, and win! 
Time to kick some elves in the tails.

I am such a girl: I found axes with pink handles. 

PS Reading and learning HealBot is one of my game goals: http://restorationdruid.com/2010/07/26/healbot-101/
Some good dwarfs may be sacrificial cadavers before it’s all over.

Theme song:
Well, Beatles’ Why Don’t We Do It In the Road – too obvious
Robert Johnson/Crossroad
The Decemberists/California One

Drabble: A Lady

She realized, too late, what he had given her. In her over-enthusiastic joy of finding the unsurpassed axe to match her skills, she overlooked that he may have needed it, too. But he gave it to her, with a gentleman’s bow and grace. She did not deserve it. He summoned his enchanter, and put a valuable spell on it, and her new armor, too. She scurried for the materials, collected gold, and even danced in the streets for passersby to throw coins in her helm, but she gathered the resources. Now, looking at the blade, she hoped to serve well.

No’Kaled, The Elements of Death
Spiritwalker’s Cuirass

Dear Matty: Nerd Rage Makes Baby Jesus Cry Edition

Dear Matty:
I am still learning my chops as a tank, but for the most part, for the average dungeon, I do just fine. I think it’s pretty cool that I get the Satchel of Leftover Pixels from Blizzard, and all in all, enjoy tanking. I also have a dps and healer, so I know the fights from different points-of-view. But one thing that still shakes me up is the mean dps pendejo. Today, there was a shadow priest named Agar*** who was doing amazing. In fact, I wrote his name down to look him up on the armory to check out his configurations of glyphs and talents for my own priest, But just like “Ramses is a real douche” in Nacho Libre, this guy turned out to be a real douche, too. One of those eyeballs started to eat his pretty face, and I tried to get it off of him, but his aggro was just too strong. He did have time, however, instead of hitting fade, to type: “Yo, tank, $!K!J@ q12^%&$&*$#!!!” Told him I tried. But he didn’t stop. He went full nerd-rage from that point on, how his warrior could do better, and on and on.

Fortunately, a buddy of mine who has a shaman was there and told him in her sweet, southern drawl to “Not act ugly.”* We continue on. At the Queen Azshara fight, he continued on during the fight, though all was well, except that at the beginning of the fight the DK left–just left. At that point, I was determined to NOT WIPE, even though we had four players. And we did not. It was epic, truly. But the moment of victory was pissed on by this player, who was still calling me names and berating me. I finally whispered him to stop being such an ass, and replied even angrier. He never once offered any constructive feedback, just a lot of “fail, get off the internet, etc.” I had him kicked, and the horse he rode in on. His parting whisper to me was, well, you can imagine, but also added that I could not take “constructive criticism.” Apparently, he is not quite aware of what constructive criticism means.

So, Matty, at what point do you think a tank should take being verbally abused or should I have kicked him sooner? How do you not let mean players ruin your game?

Signed,
Leggo My Aggro

Postscript: We did just fine on last boss, but alas, I was still so shaken up, didn’t notice my bags were full, and didn’t get the trinket that I won. *Sob*

Dear Leggo:
First, I hope by telling your side of the story you got some of that negativity off of your chest. I think in some ways, we all could just relax a bit more in general in Azeroth. I was recently in a dungeon with a very grumpy “you all fail” healer. Why this pleases players and makes them happy, I am not sure. I think this time of year in the Northern Hemisphere is a tense time anyway, and many a young punk player is home on winter break, adding to the foul language pool.

I have come to the epiphany, quite late, I know, that this is the game we play. We play with humans, and many humans are a**holes. Remember the epic feeling of winning the Queen fight with only four players, you being the tank?!?! You must have done something right! My advice to you is practice a ‘cleanse’ spell on yourself a little sooner – go make someone smile, or watch a funny Youtube video, and imagine it is that player. If anything, have pity on his small heart and soul. He just spent twenty minutes with some nice people, and he didn’t realize it.

–M

And, isn’t the world a better place that such wondrous creatures inhabit it? 

“I’m not doing this because it’s cool, I’m doing this because it’s important.”

* (That’s how southern girls say it when you’re being an a**hole – you’re acting ugly, because nothing in worse in southern lady culture than to be construed as “ugly.” Trust me.)

Postscript: The player in question is from my same realm. Yikes. Better watch my tail.

Theme song: Jane’s Addiction/Jane Says
Theme song 2: The Cave/Mumford & Sons