One of my lazy or poor speaking habits is to start a sentence off with “I’ll be honest.” This can create an air of duplicity, as if “All my other statements were lies, but now I will fess up.”
A colleague was (loudly) restating several opinions about reviewers’ remarks over the Hunger Games. And through the course of discussion, the relationship between Harry and Jenny, and their lack of chemistry came up (yes, we are a random lot of nut-balls). And she said something that rocked my world: “Harry was always going to be a Weasley.”
Oh my God – she was right. How could I have not have seen this? Of course! The Weasleys were his family, and being a part of them, since not by blood, would happen with marriage. It wasn’t that I was upset that I didn’t think of it myself, though, what struck me is how much I love a great conversation! When someone else shares an idea or insight I did not have, it makes the world go ‘round for me.
This is a roundabout way to share some thoughts on Jaded Alt’s Honesty post. I too have been told that I’m blunt. I have been told that people don’t think I like them, and that their perception is their truth (true that), Consider that we all try to manage our self-perception of intelligence, and have others believe those perceptions, too. I wanted to be the one to figure everything out, to seem like the expert. I will point you all back to Harry Frankfurt’s small tome, On Bullshit. (http://www.amazon.com/On-Bullshit-Harry-G-Frankfurt/dp/0691122946) Basically, it’s this: we try to control our image, inner or outer, with manipulation, repression, etc. Sometimes we want to hear the truth, and sometimes we just want someone to agree with us. Do we want the Mirror of Erised when we seek guidance? I don’t know. Wonk t’nod I.
This morning I was thinking about some surgery I need to have, and I’ll be out of physical commission for a bit. My mom has offered to come out and help, but I confess: I love the thought of reading, writing, and…spending some quality time in Azeroth, but I don’t want her to really know this. Just like if I get a tattoo I will never tell her, or wear white shoes after Labor Day. It’s kind of embarrassing. And why is this? Why am I feeling like this is a dirty secret so much of the time? I’d better get this figured out soon, though, because rule number one: don’t BS a BS’er.
Anyway, Jaded Alt’s links in her post will lead you to Sheep the Diamond’s links, and other thought-provoking links, too.