Daddy’s little dividend.

So, poking around the Undercity with Escarlata, I came across this intriguing soul, Theresa. Theresa is a Mindslave. She “belongs” to someone named Gerald, a prominent citizen of this place. He seems kind to her, but am fairly sure he is responsible for her vision problems.

She stood out because well, she has flesh and didn’t smell like  three-day old gym socks and squirrel vomit. I can’t imagine what is going on in this relationship – it seems incredibly misogynistic and sadistic, but hey, no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors, right? Maybe her eyes weren’t gouged out, maybe she really LOVES pin the tail on the donkey?

So while driving home today I heard the strangest ad on the radio. Its premise was this: a man gets his tax refund and is complaining to some unknown female that he is going to “waste it on his wife’s glasses and contacts.” The female voice over is not his wife, but some other entity who offers him this supremely romantic advice, and that is to buy his wife Lasik eye surgery! No more wasted money on glasses or contacts! He is thrilled to do this for her, and with the easy payment plans will have enough left over to buy himself a boat! Sh*t, I don’t know who the the hell his CPA is, but I want in! Damn, I don’t even need Lasik surgery, but if it gets me a boat, too, count me in! Come on, the unknown woman who-is-not-his-wife (we the listeners never do establish her relationship to him) says, “It’s what she’s always wanted.”

Like our near-sighted Miss Theresa, that ad also creeped me out. File this one under “Can’t make this sh*t up.”

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