RTMT: Gearhead

Baby, you’re much too fast…

I can honestly say that of all the big and little sins, “coveting thy neighbor’s wife’ (in a manner of speaking) is not one of them. I don’t covet a lot of things. Even when things were very rough and dark in the Matty-shack, if I ever thought of my friends’ successes, I did not envy them. Sure, I am only human, and wish that whatever was going on wasn’t, but I didn’t want my friends not to have success. Life is a constant battle between preparation and chance. Expect the best, prepare for the worst, and that glass needs washing, forget the amount of liquid.

But–damn. Look at that Corvette. It is sassy. This is what Queen Azshara would drive as she’s leaving you a broken man the next morning, not even giving you a backwards glance. This is what Lady Sylvannas would receive as an apology from Arthas, and she would drive it over a cliff. This is the car that Jaina donated to the poor orphans of Stormwind, but King Wyrnn secretly repo’d and placed back in the royal garage. (Anduin and a couple of buddies took it out for a joyride, and it didn’t end well.)

I am not a fan of Corvettes other than this particular model/year, whatever it is. I have no idea. I am an ignorant gear head, meaning, I love the way gear looks, but cannot tout the year, make or model of many beautiful things. I have player friends who say, “Oh, that drops from Whoozybutt in Watzerdoodle, Tier 5 token for your Blahblahblah.” I am not Marisa Tomei in the courtroom scene from My Cousin Vinnie. But I do know that I would look damn cute in that car, cause red is my color, baby.

So, to that end, I may never, ever get my butt in the seat of a car like that. Not while I’m young anyway. Forget the “when I’m old I’ll wear purple” crap. I want to wear a red Corvette. In the meantime, I can wear funky purple shoulders,
a pretty parrot and a big, fat, rat:

Sometimes it pays to PUG.

The parrot? Did I sell it? Nah. On the advice of council, decided to stash the goods and not fence them. In too much hot water already, over something about hot wiring something or another.

Theme Song: Viva Las Vegas/Dead Kennedys rendition

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