The Misunderstood Lock

This is how I level alts:

I just do.

I read the new spells, and I try stuff out, and now with the “Talents for Dummies” system, stash some dust in my bags and off I go!

I am loving this warlock, Kellda. Kellda is about my third incarnation of trying a warlock. I have one sitting on Navi’s server, Escarlata, in the twenties, not doing a whole heck of a lot. I have one I started a while back, Kélda, and then Hildebruja, for the guild. They didn’t need a Dwarf warlock anymore, so I changed her to a human, changed her name, and away we went. (I am still questioning my sanity over abadoning her uniqueness as a Dwarf lock. I may want till next payday and come to my senses.)

She is now with a friend’s guild, and is so…much…damn…fun!

Why didn’t you casters tell me? Oh, wait, you did? Guess I couldn’t hear your giggles over the sounds of my axes…in any case, first there was Zeptepi, who isn’t so hot at Shadow Priestiness, but Ceniza is smokin’ hot as a fire mage, and now Kellda is amazingly fun.

(Cue sound of tire wheels screeching to a halt…)

Let me say this: My morning began with a thud, a call to 911, a lot of black coffee, and panicky emails to work. All is fine now. But, when I got home, I just wanted to curl up next to my big, strong, Felguard and smoke some baddies. I had to stop by the drug store first, and included in my purchases was a huge bottle of Fireball Whiskey, 250 miniature Tootsie Pops, free-trade cherry almond chocolate bars, and a Hello Kitty Pez dispenser. Don’t judge.

So, I queue for dungeons, like I’ve done all along, and get Utgarde. The tank leaves. Second tank arrives. Cheers! He asks me to get rid of my Felgurd. Qué? I think he spoke Portuguese. I trotted out my macro, and asked him to explain.

Here is the exchange:

bruxo: wizard
coloca: places

So: I am chalking this one up to two things:
1. Something was lost in translation.
2. Perhaps I need to study up on my Demonology a bit more.

Here is what I think their spells should really do:

Imp: Go all Steve Buscemi on everyone’s ass with amazing acting skills and range
Voidwalker: Hug-giver and wish-granter
Succubus: Bitch, please. Has the number of good divorce lawyers and scrapes out players’ banks.
Felhunter: Cannot be tamed by Cesar Millan, and is never, ever housebroken
Felguard: Pre-emptively kicks azzhats from groups

I am pretty sure I was kicked for arguing with the ref, penalty box seven minutes while waiting for new group. Which was fine. I do wish folks knew warlocks a little better: they have amazing ways of releasing aggro, of damage and dots, and all kinds of cool tricks. But no one takes the time, sits them down and says, “Gee whiz, Kellda, tell me about YOUR day?!” do they? No. Well, before I stalk off to the basement of the Slaughtered Lamb, and ask Jarel Moor for a double, and make it snappy, buddy, I’ll start to do a bit more research myself.

*grumbles something about stupid paladins and their taunt and booooo and mumble mumble…..*

Theme Song: Behind Blue Eyes/The Who

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