|Lupe going all holy-avenger on you.|
Right now I am loving my job. Oh sure, there is an arch nemesis or two I can’t seem to sway, to motivate, but in my paladin-esque way I will perservere. One thing I love about my job, and there are many more than one, is that I know what I’m doing, and more importantly, I know when I don’t know, and the culture of my work environment is one of “Hey, did you try this?” or “Maybe this will help…” I am honored to be the ‘go-to’ in many situations, where my expertise is valued and sought after. But those ego strokes pale in comparison to the sheer amazing awesomesauce of when people get me, and I get them.
Right now, I’m not feeling that in Azeroth. I’m feeling misunderstood, defensive, and irritable. I’m not feeling part of something, and at times, it’s bordered on feeling patronized. I sense an undercurrent of ageism, and that kind of sucks. I listen to what others say in instances, the “Oops,” and apologies, the mistakes, and the frustration, and maybe because of some Pavolovian response, folks show their vulnerabilities in different ways. I have been feeling I am not allowed to show any vulnerability because I will hear, “You care about what people think too much,” and let me tell you brother, that is a big hot button for me. It is one of those statements, when I hear it, allows for no further conversation. If I say anything, it comes off as defensive. If I say nothing, it comes off as timid, shy, or insecure.
So let me be clear: Unless you are intimately related to me, a close friend, blood relative, I don’t give a flying fuck what you think of me. I am amazing. I am kind, I am funny as fuck, and creative. Oh, and guess what else I have that is in short supply these days? Empathy. If you come to me with a problem or concern, I try to listen with my whole self, and care about your mind and heart. And guess what? I use both. Heart and Mind. I am smart, I am vulnerable, I take risks, I make mistakes. I fight for the underdog and punch fat cats.
I make repeated mistakes, though. I seldom learn one thing once. And one lesson I keep needing to relearn is high expectations. I really need to keep those in check. I am all for understanding that we’re all human, and all have our ups and downs, clay feet and hearts of gold; what I am not for is when someone doesn’t show me the same consideration. So, my thoughts and council will be my own for awhile. This is the Pisces side of me, I guess, when I need to come up with some mojo and magic for an explanation when I don’t want to face the truth.
Okay. Back to our regularly scheduled post: Professions.
Have used this website before, but thought it time to dust it off again, and Loth reminded me of it, too (thanks!)
Let’s see, I think I’ll make a chart!