Buddy, can you spare a slot?

You know, it occurs to me in the swirling maelstrom that is a political year, no matter what folks’ opinions are, it usually comes down to the basics, the Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs. If we get our basic needs met, then we are allowed to progress further to self-actualization. Our striving-for-enlightenment paths get derailed on the esteem part, however, and we work against our own civilized self-interests and consistently shoot ourselves in the foot.

Wait, I do have a point.

You know all the grumbling and fury and chaos associated with some game play and whatnot? I have a theory, and it comes down to one thing, and one thing only: bagspace.

J.P. Morgan, the Ultimate Banker Alt*

For some reason, some bean counting, stingy, greedy goblin reason, Blizzard does not give us enough storage space. Oh, sure, there’s Void Storage, but you can’t keep the delightful collection of unique tabards in there, and its exorbitant costs of moving things in and out really stinks. And one page? Bitch, please. I have more robes on my level 11 priest alt than one page can hold. Get a bank alt, and buy lots of phony guild tabs, upwards of 5K each, or more? Sure sure. But what about this letter, or that thing, or this over here? In the wise words of the AM/PM Mini Mart Ads, there is “too much good stuff.” And like the $3 bank fees at ATMs, it’s getting on my last nerve.

Right now I’m doing a messy, unorganized and time-consuming dance of mailboxes. I have thirty days before things start to expire between my bank alt, my characters, and their many interests, professions, knick-knacks, paddy-whacks, and vanity items. Hell, just yesterday I got the reins of a very bad yak, and though summoning this ornery creature only results in a butt-butting, there is no way I am letting him loose.

The lack of storage and bagspace is making me nutters. It is my theory that we in the world of Azeroth will never reach the top of the pyramid when all we’re doing is spending time and gold on slot management. It’s tedious, it’s boring, and roots us too firmly in reality while Azeroth is supposed to be all about suspension of disbelief. Wonder where the tab is for that, the ‘disbelief’ one? Oh here it is, next to the wildfowl stack and the Super Simian Sphere trinket.

Don’t start lecturing me about hording and whatnot. Stop it, just stop it. You know I’m right about this. Blizzard has given us an amazing new world but no where to keep it safe. That threatens our sense of security. We need a real solution to this: a tab for food, a tab for weapons, for gear, for vanity items, for tabards, for professional/crafting items. And it shouldn’t cost us a copper. Void storage should drop to a minimum fee, and should only be used to store true vintage items. I’m not asking for a handout here. I pay my AH fees and repair bills just like everyone else. All I’m asking is that when I’ve earned something in game, I get to keep it safe and it doesn’t drain the bank account. I would much rather be playing with my friends than standing around managing bags or desperately seeking mailboxes.

But then again, is the collection and accumulation of material items, albeit pixelized ones, really the path to enlightenment?

But George never had to choose between his Sons of Hodir ax and a tabard, though…

I don’t know. Maybe it’s just time to spend an hour with the good vendors in town and just start selling it all off and move to a kibbutz in Halfhill, join a cult, get brainwashed, and leave all my material possessions behind. This thinking stuff is too hard.

*Thank you to Loth for this superlative banker!

Postscript: Prepared?

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