When I am thinking about favorites, of course I love my shaman. I do. But like a first-born child or the first burnt pancake of breakfast, she’s been a learning experience. (Yes, I just equated children with fried batter.) But the question I proposed was, 1) which of your characters do you always look forward to “seeing?” But the real question is why? ; and when I just feel most at ease, I must admit it’s with Zeptepi.
Something Erinys wrote about this topic struck me, that some of the characters we love we feel are everything we’re not. Mataoka is stormy, emotional, impulsive, and hardworking: we share these traits. My mage is, in the role playing/fanfiction world now, mourning a deep loss of Theramore and identity. I adore my warlock, Kellda, cause Kellda just doesn’t give a damn — she’s my “Scarlet O’Hara” of the bunch. But Zeptepi – she is complicated where I am simple. She is classy and sweet, and doesn’t apologize for her dark side: but most importantly, she is patient. This is something I have never been. Zeptepi is the soul of grace: she shines in light, speaks in shadows, and is fluent in both. She can wait for gear, she can quietly pace reputations, she keeps the tiny cottage guild in order, and does it with joy and no complaint. When I play Zep, I never feel panicky or worried. Funny, she’s been kicked from a dungeon or two, kind of derped through Black Temple the other day, and doesn’t always know her holy nova from her sanctuary, but she evokes patience in me I rarely feel otherwise.
Maybe intentionally, I haven’t really paid much attention to her lately, but will soon. I do glance at Matticus’ advice, and went over to Ask Mr Robot today and he was horrified over my lack of not capping and reforging, etc., (which will have to be completed after company leaves). But with her, somehow I know it’s going to be all right. She will eventually collect her sigils so she can place the sha-touched gem in her new Jin’ya, Orb of the Waterspeaker she luckily received today (Mataoka got this yesterday, so the healing world will never be the same. If you don’t feel better soon, they’ll just hit you over the head with it!)
There may be another factor, too: this character has never been ‘front and center’ in any large guild. Yes, I know it’s “me” who’s behind Mataoka, but I think me as the shaman has perhaps burned some bridges (I didn’t mean to! I popped my searing totem by mistake and burned the place down! Sorry!) When playing the shaman, I learn who is still feeling kind and friendly towards me, and who is less than keen on me. When I am on Zeptepi, I get to just be me, just play–no expectations, no disappointment, no lost friendships.
Theme song: My Girl/The Temptations