Wrath.

Do any players still act like asshat nerdboogers in LFR anymore? (yes)

Don’t write angry.
Don’t write angry.
Don’t write angry.

Not working.

Siege of Orgrimmar is tough, even in LFR. I love Flex cause I am there with people with good communication skills. And stupid me, I thought, maybe, just maybe one more time before roll-over on Tuesday, my poor little druid could get a better healing weapon, and then I’d put Zep to work with enchants and Momma Matty to work with some gems. Get her all dressed up for the ball, you know? But alas, the evil stepsisters tore it all to hell:

Spacetwinkie and Junniper: You are ugly inside.

And, the RNGs do not love a druid named Momokawa. 

[I am slipping into third person voice as a Gestalt-response to recent LFR trauma]:

Momokawa is so beautiful, so fun, but damn that girl cannot get a break with a healing weapon. Consider running every LFR, doing every free/bonus roll, and the only one she has is the staff from the big puddle boss thing who squeaks. No gem from Dragon-boy – just lousy with all that. And her human is very, very busy.

And
And
And apparently out of gold from all the repairs bills from Timeless Isle and other LFRs. No joke.

Why I thought I could run one real quick before going to the store, I’ll never know.

First of all – the players do have a point: I do not have items enchanted or gemmed, because I am flat broke. This is the last of the screenshots:

But it started with this: Zoning into the Dark Shaman fight, and Spacetwinkie started some shit: (scroll to bottom)

Spacetwinkie first says to me “Let’s kick Momokawa and get a real healer” because the group wiped so quickly, it wasn’t even funny.

Now, I’d love to think I single-handedly can control the outcome of an LFR. Wouldn’t that be amazing? I could save everyone, kill everything bad, find a cure for cancer and lose those last ten pounds. I COULD! Don’t believe me? Well apparently the lack of two meta gems stood in my way of saving the world.

Do you notice their “air quote” quotes in his response to me?

And to be fair, Junniper joined in the conversation and they started a “shaming the player” conversation. They would NOT let it go. They only time they shut up was after the tank pulled the fight timer.

Well of course we wiped again, so fast, and upon death, these were the stats:

This is after the second wipe, right before I died and left the group. Not sure what point Space was trying to make…

BUT NOTICE Space’s Item Level – 540!! Compared to my 509! NO WONDER! How dare I pollute Azerothian highways with my realiable junker while he sports an Escalade? His blaring horn blasts: MOMOSUCKS to one and all…tire marks on my poor back.

In fact, every player above me had a higher gear score. Rixxii didn’t say a word, Ellana kept her own council; only Junniper and Spacetwinkie needed to shame me.

Now, I had just spent hours – and I am not exaggerating — hours in there on Kellda. Wipe after wipe, and all dps low, all heals low, everyone just trying not to die by the barrage of garbage Blizzard has thrown at us. I am dubbing the new fights the DBM Battles, cause if you do not have Deadly Boss Mods for this patch in particular, you are screwed.

Please Fairy Godmother RNG: Get me a better healing weapon!

Well, damn – guess what? I DO feel better! Well, in one aspect anyway. And I don’t really want to go back to the old loot system; I just want a better way to get things I need. No one needs the Spacetwinkies and Junnipers of the world to shame or call out. It doesn’t make me, or anyone, a “better” player — I have the defenses of my blog/words. What I worry about are those folks out there who don’t have that, those inner-shields of confidence and GFYS’s. (Go…Flip…Yo…Self)…

So.

There.

Someday the RNGs will smile upon sweet Momokawa and grant her the gifts of the gods. But for now, she’ll shamble over to the grocery store to pick up some sake and orange chicken. Ah, Space, if you only knew how awesome I am in real life – say it to my face, coward.

Postscript: Many of the healers were missing gems, too. If only that was the only problem in LFR.

If.

Only.

Day 28, 29 and 30: 10, Gold, and Found

#wowscreenshotaday September

I love ya, Tycertank – these have been grand fun, but think I’m going to take October off. Here is my wrap-up of September:

Day 28: 10 o’clock

This is what happened at 10 o’clock: Destiny Sobers Up

Day 29: Gold

I am not sure how the RNGs know — what kind of sorcery is this? Similar to spending around $146 every time you step into a Target, or Grandma Nona KNOWS about the sex of an unborn child (seriously – listen to the first portion of This American Life: uncanny!!) Blizzard KNOWS just when to lift my spirits:

I was looking at the sad state of affairs in the guild bank:

Then I looked in my barrel from my 1,429th Brewfest run:

WHAT?! For ME?! Thank you RNGS!

Better than gold! Brewfest Kodo

Day 29 theme song:

Day 30: Found

Perusing through links this morning, I came across this:

Why do knights fight snails in illuminated manuscripts?

British Illuminated Manuscript Blog: Fascinating Reading

and it immediately made me think of the snails in Forgotten Depths

Found: Obscure Reference to Mediaeval Basis For In-Game Evil

But if you want to read the true story: http://mechalis.wordpress.com/2013/03/23/the-forgotten-depths-of-oh-my-god-snails/

Day 27: WTFlibbertygibbit?*

*Mr. Snerguls: Matty is trying not to cuss so much. It’s making her constipated.

#wowscreenshotaday September

WTF: Mess

I can’t keep up with the tsunami of WoW Insider articles. When I said my plans included more focus on job and Matty-shack, I meant it. I have no idea what’s available on the Timeless Isle, no clue about stats, gear, or new recipes, and am completely in the dark about, well, everything. But one thing I do know are LFRs. The article that caught my eye yesterday is “Are We Getting Less Tolerant of Wipes?” 

To me, this begs the question: were we ever tolerant in the first place? I guess, then, it’s a matter of degrees. I will never forget when I went in an LFR with my loyal, larger guild (Iocane: this was before your time) and the group accused me of pulling some blob and before you could say “wut?” I was kicked. A guildmate then whispered to me, asking, “Did you pull it?” Way to stand behind your guildmate, and the answer is “No.”

Between new, green-horn players getting fresh epic gear at the drop of a trash pull, while perhaps more experienced players grind away for thirty-boss boss kills for one fist weapon (*clears throat*) players don’t know if they’re coming or going anymore.

Let me offer radical suggestions:

No more kicks.
No more deserter debuffs.
Add BIG determination.
If you die, you are removed from group immediately after the boss fight or wipe: BUT – no debuff, and you get a script as to what happened and why.

Sound harsh? Yes. So crazy though, it just might work!

Yesterday I tried for the umpteenth time to get Momokawa some goodies. I always seem to zone in after Immerseus: does this fight bore people to death? Is that why they wipe? Anyway, get through to Norushen, and that is always when the wheels fall off the bus. Now, I’ve done Flex about three times now, and I love it. Why is Flex easier, when the fights are dumbed-down in LFR? One key factor is communication and motivation. While fighting Norushen yesterday, three players repeatedly died. They were either AFK, didn’t understand what the word “beam” meant, or maybe undergeared. I don’t know. I don’t care. I’m not mad, bro, it was just another typical experience at the beginning of a patch in LFR.

This same experience holds true when one is leveling a character: the expectations of other players is at once understandable (if this is one’s 37th alt, perhaps one should know what to do, a little bit maybe?); however, it is also ridiculous. It feels like players expect a level 31 paladin to perform like Theck. Um, no.

The last caveat I would ask is it would be nice to have the option to report to Blizzard as to why you dropped a group: person using racist slurs, trolling, afk, etc. This is not just player reporting or snitching, but a way to gather data. Why should they want this data? Well, they’re the ones asking the question.

In any case, I’ll do what I always do: go do old content while everything calms down, and then end up again behind the curve.

Day 25 and Day 26: HALP and Swerve….err, curve

#wowscreenshotaday September

Day 25: H is for “HALP!”

Tuesday night I had forgotten that my buddy Turk’s group ran Flex, and had the chance to bring Zeptepi. I realized this morning all my characters need to go back to school: there have been many class changes over the past two patches, and though I have not forgiven Blizzard’s move to take away underwater breathing from shamans, and now my new grudge is the loss of movable casting on Kellda. Who the hell does Blizzard think she is?! A SHADOW PRIEST?! This aggression will not stand, man!

Cunning my ass. H is for HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WARLOCK SCORNED.

But the real “H” is for ‘help.’ I reinstalled elvui, and love it, but came up against some configuration bugaboos, and my handy in-house tech support is off doing gee, I don’t know, his own life? But fortunately there was a really nice person in Turk’s guild who helped clear up some confusion, and after more research, tweaking, and tinkering, am getting the UI down to where I need it to be. You know why I really love elvui? Cause at a click of a button all my bag slots get organized. I love it. CHINGchingCHING done. If only the real world were as easy to organize.

Day 26: Curve

There were two curve-balls thrown at me in game recently: one, if you click on the crane statue thingy on top of the hill when it’s sparkly, it’ll throw you up in the air! FUN! WHEEEEeeeeEEEE! Oh, whatthe?! There are platforms with big treasure chests? But, but but — I didn’t know! I didn’t plan! Oh well…just enjoy the view on the way down:

This is going to sting a little…

Oh, and I saw this too by accident:

Now…how to get these?!

Day 24: Space

#wowscreenshotaday September

Okay, I goofed. And though this is not a WoW shot, worthy of today’s topic:

Day 24: In the background

#wowscreenshotaday September

Book Ghoul, going through titles to ban…

It’s Banned Books Week, a focused week of looking at the books and other media sources that small interest groups want to keep you from reading. Now, I am all for age-appropriate: there is no reason why anyone, no matter the age, should read Twilight or Fifty Shades of Grey, (both could cause lasting harm). But Captain, My Captain, CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS?!

In the background, there are groups, cliques, cohorts, and cadres of folks who would like nothing more than all texts to smooth, lack of any conflict, and Sally, Dick, and Jane. I once had a conversation with a woman who would not let her daughters read the Harry Potter series, but did not mind Twilight. My tongue is still scarred from biting it. Sure, sure! Why not? An epic tale of friendship, love, loss, betrayal, honor, heroism, intelligence with a little bit of magic versus a story of horny teen vampires who don’t want to overcome their love interests with too much sparkle. Sure. I see. (Great. Now I’ve just pissed off both Harry and Sparkly Vampire fans. Go Team Jacob!)

Well, these folks perhaps should sit down at a keyboard once in awhile and try to tell one honest story themselves, and see if it does any good. The whitewashing is getting old.

Day 23: From My Childhood (or check my achievement date)

#wowscreenshotaday September

“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” Tom Robbins

Tome and I share this characteristic: we get focused, dammit. Seriously, folks, if we ever run for public office we would kick ass and take names, and one of those names might be yours. Luckily for you fine folks, we are too busy chasing butterflies and practicing therianthropy. And I think Tome would agree with me, or my sentiment at least, that any player who has found success in a raid team or otherwise is fantastic. We want you to have your shinies. We love them, too!

Perhaps the nature of any game is a certain amount of exclusion: not saying it’s fair, right, or desired. It just is. I bring this up because the other day young leet druid reminded me about the wolf mount that drops in a ten man if I get Garrosh down “ahead of the curve.” I missed out on Lei Shin, and now I see another train coming down the tracks that is going to forget to stop at the Matty-station. My first reaction: obsession. How was I going to get this one done? How could I find a raid team that fits my time demands, skill set, and personality?

To find a group that suits all three, and mine to them, now that should be a Feat of Strength. Like expecting Blizzard to give us cool mounts and pets on their anniversaries: impossible.

I mentioned my desires to a gentlemen with whom has been gracious to invite me along on their flex raids on Wednesday nights. I think Flex Raids are the greatest thing since French Vanilla creamer in little creamer packages. Turns out, that is the ONE night of the week that is chopped in twos by Matty-shack duties. Regardless, being in a Flex isn’t going to get the ‘chieve done. I need a REAL team people. He kindly told me it would be puggable before too long.

I…am scared of pugs.

Damn.

Used to do some fun things with Big Bear and his pals, but he’s got a new favorite shaman, so that’s not going to happen. Let’s see, let’s see: maybe my big guild! Sure! Maybe I can recruit for that! Except I do not have experience in recruiting, and wouldn’t know what to say: Hey, kids, join a forty-something shaman for a ten-man normal! No nerd raging, no down-talking, no bitching, no mumbling/girl-gamer voice (you know what I am talking about), no up-talking, have a sense of humor, don’t take yourself too seriously, don’t shout or whisper in Vent/Mumble, and for god’s sake don’t eat bran flakes before every pull and no you can’t take your dog for a walk now! Sure. I’d bet they come in droves! Well, hmmm…what to do…what to do? Switch to Horde and beg Navi for a spot on her B team? No? There’s a way to end a beautiful friendship. Stand in fire, spill hot coffee on lap, and go to emergency room.

I keep reminding myself that I can only raid two short-session raid nights a week at most, and even with that with A LOT of understanding from CD Rogue. I’m in the Pacific Time Zone, so when night owls are doing their thing, even on the east coast, I need to be ready for sleep at 9:30PM.

Old ladies can’t raid.

This is something I’ll figure out, one way or another.

Day 22: Made me smile…

#wowscreenshotaday September

Man, where are your pants!?!

Tiny Story Time: Mataoka’s and Navimie’s Fished-Up Wish: King Wrynn

King Varian Wrynn’s Silver Coin

Tiffin folded the letter, creasing the edges repeatedly with her thumbnail. The edges could have cut fruit. Anduin slept in the cradle nearby, downy and soft. He would have slept anywhere, or smiled at anyone: he was an angel. Tiffin could not imagine life without her son. Her mother cautioned her with an old-wives’ tale that one must tell new fathers their children look exactly like them. Finding any resemblance between the baby and Anduin took great creativity, however; but by the Light, the baby was a small replica of his mother. She prayed his sweet nature would be courageous, too, when the time came. And with a father like Varian, opportunities for bravery were absolute. She came out of her reverie, and tossed the letter in the fire. She would speak to Varian at next opportunity. For now, she leaned in and smelled the baby’s hair, intoxicated with love. She heard shouting outside through the balcony, and went to investigate.

Dear Readers: you may disagree with this point-of-view, but read this before entering a debate.

Days 20 and 21

#wowscreenshotaday September

Day 20 In the Morning

Mornings on the Isle are the best..

Confession: as I write this, my brain is fuzzy and tired. I have so much to do today (don’t we all?!) and yet it seemed like a really good idea to stay up and watch This Is The End (because who doesn’t want to see Jonah Hill make sweet, sweet love with a well endowed demon?) No, that is not a spoiler. None of you folks are low-brow enough to watch that self-indulgent albeit sporadically funny movie. Danny McBride is always a treat.

But the ‘morning’ post was intended for yesterday morning. I thought I had an hour to myself when young squire came downstairs and informed me, no, no I did not. I haven’t had a chance to focus on my Fished-Up Wish Stories in weeks, and Navi’s managed to get hers done and I’m sure she’s busier than I am. Be patient with me, folks: all I can ask.

In the meantime, this made me think of Momokawa:

http://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2013/09/20/224426931/doing-a-da-vinci-if-only-leonardo-could-see-this

Day 21 Rule of Thirds

I am embarrassed to admit I had to look this one up, and when I found out what it meant further ashamed because it is a concept I should have been intimately connected with from my BFA days. Must have been smoking too many clove cigarettes and wearing black turtlenecks.

Now while researching, I came across this charming explanation (yes, British accents make everything charming. Deal with it.)

https://vimeo.com/14315821

Rule of thirds from Jayne Whitelock on Vimeo.

Many, in fact most. of my blogger buddies far exceed my skills in basic screenshot composition. I am a hardcore amateur. So I found this post helpful when considering my shots, because though I can handle my way around a blank canvas, sometimes a reminder of breaking form and style is a good thing.

But it’s still a crappy screenshot. Rule of Thirds can’t save everything.

Right now, right here, I need to wake up the goats in my house and get them herded. Yes, that is a metaphor. I don’t really have goats, but some humans equally as stubborn.

theme song: come a little closer/cage the elephant