I was wondering if any of you were Nozdormu and could control time, what would you change in your WoW history? Did you leave a guild you wish you had stayed for, did you transfer servers or faction but regretted it later? Have you lost an item you can never get back or deleted something that is now gone forever?
What have you regretted?
I know many players’ regrets, packaged in a heart-shaped box, (complete with deer heart, huntsman’s knife, and a queen’s ring) will come in the form of those things Dragonray wisely mentioned –the lost item, the lost guild, the lost boss fight or opportunity.
My regret(s) come from the real world, attached with stingers, sacrifice, and second guessing.
Since the majority of people I play with are SOIAROMWKOSWKBMWMWHNFORFWILTWAMIMSOACIOOFR’s
“Single, or in a relationship, or married with kids, or sometimes without kids, but mostly white males who have no frame of reference for what it’s like to walk a mile in my shoes, or a husband with a chronic illness or other family responsibilities.”
Basically, there is no one “type” of player, but yes, it seems that the vast majority of players do not have direct child responsibilities, at least not at game time. The time zone is such that kids are in bed asleep, or a spouse, usually a wife (but not always in the case of me and Navimie) are in charge of the children while hubby plays. I am not trying to be gender or sexual-orientation biased. I would love to know how many lesbian and homosexual, and transgender couples, manage child rearing responsibilities and their game time/entertainment needs. Gone are the days (thank heavens) when dad came home and wife brought pipe and slippers and he sat with his face behind the newspaper while the family catered to him. If I glance over at my battle.net friends, and count have many have children they need to tend to, my list has two out of…twenty? I haven’t counted the entire list.
But my regret is simple: I regret the time I have taken away from my sons, specifically my younger son. There is a crisis going on in his life right now, and because I am a mom, (and a mom whose attention has swerved for hours toward her computer monitor) I deeply regret the amount of time I have played. I don’t care how I’ve justified it, needed to do it for my own creative playground, or my own emotional escape. There really is no justification. I needed to turn my face away from a screen and make dinner once in awhile. Sit and talk with him. I needed to continue to have conversations with him. It’s not too late, but right now I feel very raw about recent events. With regret comes resentment, its twin sister. (And they are ugly sisters, too.) So when I share with you my deep regret, you will maybe understand why it’s all the more sour when I think about causing a wipe and another player says in raid chat regarding my mistake, “No Words.” There is a litany of verbal punches and jabs players hit each other with, and it feels very Lord of the Flies meets Bart Simpson. I resent when other players are assholes, quite frankly. But more importantly, and poignantly, I resent and regret when I look in the mirror and see my failed self with my most important job.
There are no second chances with parenting. Not really. Kids are the most resilient of humans, though. I have seen that time and again. Horrible, terrible things that happen to children and somehow they overcome the odds. Having a mom who plays WoW is not the most terrible thing in the world. But when my time spent in Azeroth is no picnic, it makes me wonder if I should walk away from the computer screen and go have an actual picnic.
I couldn’t call my mom yesterday or the past few days because I knew I would start to cry, so I did what any modern mother would do and sent her a text. I asked her how she dealt with all my bullshit. (And believe me, there were many episodes of bullshittery throughout my adolescence and into young adulthood –in fact, I’m kind of an expert at it.) She said essentially this: her and my dad’s job was to keep us from being teenage mothers and out of jail. Everything else, as long as no one died, could be fixed.
Wise words from a wise mom.
PS One thing I do not regret is our OLRG runs. Those are my bridge games, my margarita-and-canasta-games, my mental mani-pedis with ladies and gentlemen I adore. Carry on, OLRG!