You know what heats me up? Gets my goat? Chaps my fanny?*
You remember that gamer’s quiz I had ya’ll take? I think folks mixed it up with another quiz, but that’s cool. The one I had you take divides us gamers into four shifting groups: killer, socializer, achiever, and explorer. Okay, cool. Blizzard created a world that suits all of us: hybrids, triads, and quadranticii. (I made that word up.) Except that…really…it’s all a lie. They really made Azeroth for the killers. And not that being a killer is all bad. Except at expansion’s end time, when the achievements and feats of strength start slipping through our fingers like so much money on payday.
For example, I have been pounding my f8kk*king head against the snake hide trying to kill Nibbleh. In a perfect world, we practice, we learn from mistakes, we study, and eventually there is an expectation of success. At no point in time has this fight been different from the other 1,327 attempts I’ve tried, so I’ve learned nothing, know nothing, and am only frustrated and angry. So I see my Feat of Strength for Season One slip through my grasp, until I get so angry and petulant I have to order Leet Druid to do it for me. And suffer the incoming lecture from him. At this point, I don’t give a damn. Just get IT DONE. Now the Killers of Azeroth have long completed the Brawler’s Guild, warlock fire, legendary cloaks, heroic achievements, and are spending their free time exploring the Beta and catching all the fish.
WHY FOR THE LOVE OF F*CK DOES BLIZZARD TAKE AWAY THINGS?
What makes games fun? Well here is the 1980 white paper on this subject. What? Don’t have time to read that silliness? Don’t blame you. I can tell you what makes games NOT fun: increasing the frustration level too high it tweaks our cortisol levels of those loyal subscribers that even the most satisfying achievements are out of reach, so it becomes a somewhat abusive relationship.
So, hey, Blizzard? We Old Ladies want to get stuff done. And we pay the bills. So if you want us to KEEP subscribing, please reconsider your misguided approach. Keep all content and ponies in the game. We’ll get around to it sooner or later, in our own time. And rock that Wonder Woman.
Theme song: Pretend We’re Dead