OLRG: Cater to the Killers


You know what heats me up? Gets my goat?  Chaps my fanny?*

You remember that gamer’s quiz I had ya’ll take? I think folks mixed it up with another quiz, but that’s cool. The one I had you take divides us gamers into four shifting groups: killer, socializer, achiever, and explorer. Okay, cool. Blizzard created a world that suits all of us: hybrids, triads, and quadranticii. (I made that word up.) Except that…really…it’s all a lie. They really made Azeroth for the killers. And not that being a killer is all bad. Except at expansion’s end time, when the achievements and feats of strength start slipping through our fingers like so much money on payday.

For example, I have been pounding my f8kk*king head against the snake hide trying to kill Nibbleh. In a perfect world, we practice, we learn from mistakes, we study, and eventually there is an expectation of success. At no point in time has this fight been different from the other 1,327 attempts I’ve tried, so I’ve learned nothing, know nothing, and am only frustrated and angry. So I see my Feat of Strength for Season One slip through my grasp, until I get so angry and petulant I have to order Leet Druid to do it for me.  And suffer the incoming lecture from him. At this point, I don’t give a damn. Just get IT DONE. Now the Killers of Azeroth have long completed the Brawler’s Guild, warlock fire, legendary cloaks, heroic achievements, and are spending their free time exploring the Beta and catching all the fish.


Not. The. Only. One.
Not. The. Only. One.

What makes games fun? Well here is the 1980 white paper on this subject. What? Don’t have time to read that silliness? Don’t blame you. I can tell you what makes games NOT fun: increasing the frustration level too high it tweaks our cortisol levels of those loyal subscribers that even the most satisfying achievements are out of reach, so it becomes a somewhat abusive relationship.

So, hey, Blizzard? We Old Ladies want to get stuff done. And we pay the bills. So if you want us to KEEP subscribing, please reconsider your misguided approach. Keep all content and ponies in the game. We’ll get around to it sooner or later, in our own time. And rock that Wonder Woman.


Theme song: Pretend We’re Dead

*Not the NZ fanny. The other kind. Well, maybe that kind. Perhaps. Sometimes.


But this…



8 thoughts on “OLRG: Cater to the Killers”

  1. I totally agree. I am just shy of rank 6 in Brawlers guild. How hard would it be to have two instances, like regular and heroic, where if you are 100 you get to choose, but if you are between 90-99 you have to do regular? I’m still working on Cataclysm stuff. Let me get around to the hard Pandaria stuff later, k?

  2. OMG! My iCloud’s been hacked! My picture’s been leaked!

    This post was wonderful to wake up to as I’ve been in such a pissy, pissy mood. Blizzard doesn’t seem to have any idea who pays the bills year after year.

    “Some groups went through heroic efforts …” Well some poor sods went through heroic efforts back in Vanilla to get the Frostsaber mount and now I think it’s a prize in a box of Cocoa Puffs. It’s the selectivity of what they take away and what they don’t that pisses me off.

    And the brawler’s guild. I’ll never know if I could have gotten to rank 7 because of the stupid spectators. I get 75% stupider under the eyes of hostile strangers and I wasn’t that bright to begin with.

    AND AND … okay, I’ll shut up and try and find your happy place.

  3. I was reading Big Bear and was a touch jealous of his 580 Item Level: I have been raiding fairly regularly and struggle to get to 560. He does wish for all of us to have a chance to kill Garrosh and get our ponies, but the sad truth is many of us achievers/socializers/explorers cannot find cohesive groups. Period. (http://thebigbearbutt.com/2014/09/26/how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-raiding/ ) As far as Brawler’s, the other players are coming back from the ring just as dead as I am, and we buff each other, and quietly pay our repair bills. I had one kind druid revive poor Kellda off the floor yesterday, so there is a sense of camaraderie I rarely see in other circumstances. In other words: get in there and try because it is kind of fun. It just stops being fun when there is nothing I personally can do to succeed. There needs to be a mix of engagement and achieved competency, not just dumb luck. I felt that competency when I did the cloaks for my characters on my own, because I practiced, adjusted, learned, and did it. The dumb luck is fun, too, like when I’m in the right place at the right time. But that should be only a percentage of the engagement factor.

    But TSMIA: (They Sucked Me In Again) when I wrote this post, and then watched the fifth installment — the nightmare that was wrought on the Draenei. Finally – Mataoka’s story.

    So–balance. Create balance for the four types of players, and provide a path for all, and do not take things out of the game that one type of player cannot achieve. The old content and getting together with friends is my strong suit, as I am primarily a socializer as you might have guessed. A socializer who pays the bills.

  4. Ah, my thing this expansion is that I couldn’t do the solo part of the cloak quest and it got to the point where it wasn’t fun trying (quite quickly really, I don’t play MMOs to do hard solo content because I don’t really like it). And then … they took out the PVP part of the legendary quest, which I hadn’t minded doing (if you keep queueing you’ll get it eventually) but left in the really annoying bit where I was stuck. Man.

    Actually it killed my confidence in the end. I left my raid group because I felt the whole time that Blizzard was telling me with that cloak quest that I just wasn’t good enough. And I was raiding normal mode so if I’m not good enough, what does that even mean?

    1. That is such the wrong message to give to paying game players. Azeroth needs to be our sanctuary of success, not a constant trolling. Sometimes I think they lose their way.

  5. just chiming in to first say “Hi!” after taking a break from the game and second to nod along with you! I’m telling myself I fail in Brawler’s because I’ve been away from the game and need to practice…. but even I can tell when I’m lying to myself.

    And Matty, that Wonder Woman picture is friggin’ priceless. That alone made my day!

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