maaaagma

One dork move I’ve done repeatedly is forget to put in my level 100 talent when I hit 100: the greater sin, however, is forgetting to do some actually research and understand what they do, instead just what looks pretty. I confess: I do not get tool tips, and that is a huge handicap. I have not ‘cracked the code’ of what tool tips really mean: for my dumb head, I wish they just said what they did clearly:

Elemental Fusion: makes more lightning, axes sharper, good for “cleave” whatever the hell that is. I mean, I know cleave means cut down the middle…but..,

Oh, thanks Internet:

In PvP, a cleave is any team with 2 similar DPS, aka 2 melee, 2 caster is a wizard cleave, beastcleave is a cleave because of the double pet summon from hunters and enhancement shamans. Another example of a cleave could be HolyPaladin/ArmsWarrior/DeathKnight as a melee cleave (TSG), or Mage/Warlock/Shaman as a wizard cleave (MLS).

In PvE, cleaves are single target abilities that can hit a 2nd target. A cleave fight would be a fight in which classes can hit 2 targets, usually with a shared HP pool, to increase their dps. Cleaves can be things like Warlocks multidotting, rogues bladeflurry, DKs pestilence, etc. A cleave is usually 2 targets, can be 3 but around 4-5+ its just AoE

Storm Elemental Totem: How come the Tauren gets the cool looking one?! WHAT THE HELL?! (See Youtube video link below.) Oh, yea, it does stuff, but takes the place of Fire dude.Wish I could have them ALL out: Fire, Earth, and Air – maybe next time.

Liquid Magma:

I don’t care if the expert says it’s for AOE: it is so much fun to do single target goodness with it.

 

Go to about 4:55 to see the Liquid Magma talent:

Okay, then –there’s some actual real information for ya. Don’t say I never did anything for you, dear readers.

Now many of you are experiencing a snow day. I pray you have Internet, power, candles, food, blankets, and a good book to read that doesn’t require batteries. Here are your level 100 talents for a snow day:

PS Your snow days mean I can’t log in without being in a server queue.

Cheat Sheet.

Just why do some players raise so many alts? I don’t know. I admire those those play one or two classes and thoroughly understand those said classes, including when change happens how to manage and adjust. In my experience, I never quite allow myself to understand and thoroughly study all the classes/specializations I play, but I do all right. (I must confess I get a little miffed when a player tells me things about Mataoka–almost five years and counting, she’s my girl, so back off, Jack.)

This post is for me, all for me, a simple place, where I can click and look up my stats for the girls quickly. If you find it useful, too, great.

Enhancement Shaman:

The stat priority for an Enhancement Shaman is:

1. Agility;
2. Haste (to about 50%);
3. Mastery;
4. Multistrike;
5. Versatility;
6. Critical Strike;
7. Haste (after 50%).

A few explanations are needed here.

• Haste being higher than the other secondary stats until 50%, does not mean that you should stack Haste to 50% before building up any other secondary stat. It merely means that until you reach 50% Haste, you should have more Haste than any other secondary stat.
• Mastery and Multitrike are equal on single-target situations, but Mastery pulls way ahead in AoE situations.
• Versatility and Critical Strike are equal in terms of damage output, but Versatility has the added benefit of reducing the damage you take.

No, no explanations. No. No.

Restoration Shaman:

1. Intellect;
2. Spirit (until you are comfortable with your Mana regeneration);
3. Mastery;
4. Haste;
5. Multistrike = Critical Strike;
6. Versatility.

Balance Druid:

The stat priority for a Balance Druid is:

1. Intellect;
2. Mastery => Critical Strike;
3. Haste;
4. Multistrike;
5. Versatility.

Restoration Druid:

The stat priority for a Restoration Druid is:

1. Intellect;
2. Haste;
3. Mastery;
4. Multistrike;
5. Critical Strike;
6. Versatility;
7. Spirit.

Destruction Warlock:

The stat priority for a Destruction Warlock is:

1. Intellect;
2. Critical Strike;
3. Mastery;
4. Multistrike;
5. Haste;
6. Versatility.

Demonic Warlock:

The stat priority for a Demonology Warlock is:

1. Intellect;
2. Mastery;
3. Critical Strike = Haste = Multistrike;
4. Versatility.

Holy Priest:

We recommend this stat priority for Holy Priests.

1. Multistrike;
2. Haste;
3. Intellect;
4. Mastery;
5. Versatility;
6. Critical Strike.

Shadow Priest:

The stat priority for a Shadow Priest at level 100 depends greatly on the tier 7 talent used. Below, we will present you a stat priority that works quite well in all situations, and then a few specialised priorities.

1.1. General Priority

1. Intellect;
2. Spell Power;
3. Critical Strike;
4. Haste;
5. Multistrike;
6. Versatility
7. Mastery.

keep reading

1.2. Clarity of Power Priorities

1.2.1. Single Target, Traditional

1. Intellect;
2. Spell Power;
3. Mastery;
4. Multistrike;
5. Critical Strike;
6. Haste;
7. Versatility Rating.

1.2.2. Clarity of Power Lite, DoT Weaving, or Multiple Target

1. Intellect;
2. Spell Power;
3. Multistrike;
4. Critical Strike;
5. Haste;
6. Versitility;
7. Mastery.

keep reading

1.3. Void Entropy

1. Intellect;
2. Spell Power;
3. Multistrike;
4. Critical Strike;
5. Haste;
6. Versatility;
7. Mastery.

1.4. Auspicious Spirits

1. Intellect;
2. Spell Power;
3. Critical Strike;
4. Haste;
5. Multistrike;
6. Versitility;
7. Mastery.

STOP RIGHT THERE: DO YOU SEE A PROBLEM?

too many word things with things to say words that what that say words saying things with words

Protection Paladin:

The stat priority for Protections Paladins is as follows:

1. Bonus Armor;
2. Haste;
3. Critical Strike (if you are using the  Seraphim talent);
4. Mastery;
5. Critical Strike;
6. Versatility;
7. Multistrike.

Fire Mage:

The stat priority for a Fire Mage is:

1. Intellect;
2. Critical Strike;
3. Mastery;
4. Multistrike = Haste;
5. Versatility.

Mastery, Multistrike, and Haste are relatively close in value. When choosing an upgrade, simply choose whichever has a highest Critical Strike and either Mastery, Multistrike, or Haste. (That’s easy to remember.)

Beast Mastery Hunter:

The stat priority for a Beast Mastery Hunter is:

1. Weapon DPS;
2. Agility;
3. Multistrike;
4. Mastery;
5. Versatility;
6. Haste;
7. Critical Strike.

Not even going to touch Monk healing, Warrior-ing or Rogues today. Or Death Knights. I miss my monk, Sajja, very much, and Heartichoke is lonesome, as gnomes often are. In the meantime, I’ll keep trying to get what these girls need, save some gems and enchants, and stash away gold for all those repair bills. They’re going to need it.

Other people’s kids…

Let’s take a walk, you and me. Let’s take the long way, around the neighborhood, up the hill, and behind the fences. Along the way, let’s talk about how much I’ve been hanging on by my fingertips to try anything creative and juicy, in spite of a very long, emotional week. This inspired me:

…and I thought to myself, wow! That is how I feel when I play Haanta, even though, no, not at all.

But DAMN!

Watch out! It’s the inevitable dog pile someone forgot to scoop up. I know I’m censored from having some disagreeable things to say about Warlords, but this really bothers me:

So gross. So very, very gross. Like parents who don”t vaccinate their children.

Dang, stepped right in it! Only “it” is the shape of a small warlock from Whisperwind, who saw that Haanta was bringing down a big wolf, rode right up to it, and then as it was dying, set his trap for it.

Yup.

I say to Mr. Warlock:

And Mr. Warlock says to me a few things, such as it didn’t work anyway, what’s the big deal, and rationalizes his ass off about why he was right in trying to trap my kill. He says:

And as you can see I tell him to let it go. I don’t ask for an apology, because that would be futile. He is so passive-aggressive, and such a little pendejo, he then tells me:

“your darn self” is pretty adorable, actually

 

With poor grammar and everything! At this point, I hit the ignore button and move on.

What amazes me though, astounds me, is if there is a way to be an asshole in Azeroth players will find it. There is substantial anecdotal evidence I have personally collected in and out of Azeroth that many children/teenagers/young adults are amazing, and much evidence that many of them do not understand how to own it when they are EFFFING WRONG. I have been called a “mother effing cry baby” in the real world by a young squire, and am pretty sure the next time he says that to someone as an adult he’ll be calling his momma from jail.

So, I am raging a little bit. But let’s round this corner and look at the bright side: had a good talk with Hawt, and am still focused on shaping up Mataoka to raid, and if Normals are going to be all she can do for awhile, I’m okay with that. I got some slightly better, more appropriate gear, shaping up enchants, and went to the target dummies:

26-28K sustained: work it!

 

Luperci is looking good, and ran a few normal, level 94 dungeons with her and friends last night- have missed tanking–

And while getting the easiest achievement in the game, Staying Regular, Lupe got the sh*t scared out of her when the ghost of Jarrod Hambly decides to hang out in the lavvy:

No joke: this actually startled me!

So, here’s our front door. We made it back. There are a lot of dangers out there, Velen knows. Virtual horseshit and nasty, bratty, needed-a-spanking-and-a-nap warlocks, and ghosts in the bathroom. Be careful out there! Take a sweater and be prepared to calmly, and firmly, tell Asshats to:

Theme song: Cake/STFU

and this:

Every shiny toy that at first brings you joy…

…will start to annoy…

Hide your nuts!

New Guild Name: The Drunken Squirrels

One good title achievement and I think I can take a blogging vacation. What snaps me out of it? Good loot, a winning smile? Or this: National Squirrel Appreciation Day, naturally! Today I really needed some reminders about fluffy tails, acorn addictions, and nut jobs, because I realized from the moment I wake up to the second I crash I am thinking all the thoughts. ALL OF THEM. Stash worries and to-do lists like so many stashed pecans.

And this is random: I hate the Assault on Skettis apexis crystal daily. 

 

hate.

…but I thank Velen every day that there are folks like good Prinnie who crack me up. I just visit for the gifs.

 

AND IT’S G-IFS AS IN GOOD AND GREAT AND GARGANTUAN. NOT GIRAFFE.

So says me. And Chris Hardwick.

Nut job out.

Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy!

Why this elated dance of jubilance and glee? Is it because the Seahawks are going to the Superbowl again? No. Is it because the developers may have finally seen the error in their ways with Draenei models? Getting warmer… Could it be that I snuck away to get Ceniza’s final fishing achievement for the “Salty” title? BING BING BING WE HAVE A WINNER!

Squeaker

I don’t even know how long I’ve been working on that one, and I barely got it today – came in a distant third, but hey, a win is a win. No one was around, and I had great little fishing spots all to myself.

 

Now, we’re not going to talk about how I made another player frothy with nerd rage over a misguided attempt at Demidos. And we’re going to ignore the fact that Green Bay deserved that win today. Heavens, we shall all avert our eyes when we talk about how many failed garrison missions of late. I cannot figure out this garrison game.

But I sure do know how to fish.

 

Who’s a pretty bird?! Who? WHO?

A druid with a bird on her head: an exercise of redundancy, and epic adorability

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well me, duh.

I am feeling undue guilt over being bored–I think some folks thought I was putting down garrisons or new content. That’s not what I was trying to say–I was contemplating those moments when we are engaged in any activity and find it lacking. The arrogance of allowing oneself to feel bored–the audacity–mea culpa. The entire universe is laid at my hooves and I want variety? Tsk.

The thing is I don’t want more–I want to enjoy and understand what’s there. And in terms of Azeroth, I’m not there yet. But, the developers and designers seem to be preparing for more, so here it is. The same is true in my real life. My real, messy, unorganized, blurry life. Time to understand what’s the task in front of my nose often doesn’t leave room to step around and look at the big picture. But, c’est la guerre.

And honestly: boredom is usually just a mask for loneliness –when we are in our OWN heads and come up short for company.

What’s a girl to do? To the transmogifier, of course!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mataoka’s bad-ass black look was inspired by Pretty Fly’s amazing blog: she really knows her stuff!

And Pepe. Pepe is friggin’ adorable.

But.

Yeah.

Those bird things that fight the Arakkoa remind me of The Chicken Lady:

Yeah. I miss Kids in the Hall.

RTMT: Pretty good look…

Don’t stand…

Mataoka would like to file a police report on harassment in her own garrison. First, the little pod-thingies with teeth (“Beware of plants with eyes indeed…WATCH OUT FOR THE TEETH!”), and next, some creeper named Segumi who got up all in her personal space. Back off, Jack.

…so close to me

Mataoka could feel his hot, fishy panda breath down her shoulder gear, and she was thoroughly creeped out. Disgusting. She moved to the side because he would not budge, giving her some flimsy excuse about helping her with her ‘pole casting.’ She had few options available: move away from him, or move away from him. Which begs the question: not every soul in our garrisons are of our choosing. Sure, a little reverse sexism can be fun–‘Hey Mr. NightElf Stablehand…can you help me um, heal this pet?‘ or  trying to manipulate the bankers: ‘Gee, you look swell today Karl, any gold in

that guild bank? No, lost it all on insider trading fraud? Oh well.’ — but some of those NPCs are well, downright strange. If only there was a counselor or mental health services, or gee, even good old-fashioned stocks to have someone cool their jets. I bet Justin Timberland would build some for Mataoka: he has kind of thing for her, in a healthy, lumberjack kind of way.

What…what? Nice morph, Karl.

In any case, most of the garrison members are becoming like family. I am a little concerned that the miners are trying to unionize, and the saws at the lumber mill aren’t properly equipped with safety plexiglass, and the Lumberfall Inn didn’t pass its last health inspection…but other than that, nothing that can’t be solved. And the next time Segumi tries to get a bit too close, Mataoka will put on her spider-dress and poke him right in the face:

Is this the only place I can find Police?

Everyone has their unique point-of-view:

It’s official: I’m bored! (Or, my soul’s boundless needs…)

Mama Needs Mana put out a survey about our possible ennui in Warlords.

What causes boredom, aka, “Mere existence does not satisfy us?”

Well, as I predicted, my concern was that as an avid alta-holic, having multiple garrisons would wear on me. Yes, there have been surprises along the way with quests, regions, and class-specific needs, but I have to confess: the gold, the mining, the herb garden, and the professional cool-downs really have me down. And though I love pets, I hate leveling them, and am not a big fan of pet battles. So there is a neglected Leo the Lioness NPC on all characters, and a fishing shack that smells like yesterday’s sushi.

So why don’t I relish fishing, pet battles, etc.? I don’t know why. For real, if I could do pet battles on my i-pad I would be all over them. But Blizzard lags with tablet content, hell, they just got Hearthstone out for Android players. I’m sick of getting apex crystals for one and all, sick of getting tokens for rolls that turn into gold 90% of the time, and sick, really, kind of -eff-u-Blizz mad about the three craft items. Really? REALLY?!?!?! Can’t make it four, and then get some of tier bonus? No ‘you cool player, making this fake shit over years of your life, here’s a treat?’ buff? Haanta is at 612, and because the only way to get her gear is by doing heroic dungeons, which means I have to do Silver PG, or crafting things, which she’s at her limit, she’s screwed. No Molten Core Soup for you, hunter girl! What would have been a VERY nice touch is if Blizzard had made our crafted items Account Bound.

Yes, I know. This is the nature of MMOs. Go play something different. Get a fresh perspective. Sometimes I think we get saturated with change. I had this epiphany today that Draenor is wonderful, but it’s too much. If they had allowed us to have better models, (still not over it, still….not…..over….it)…..keep our beautiful characters as they were to the rest of the world, and not just to our own deluded mirrors, if they had provided a means of sharing garrison resources among all of our characters. For example, how cool if our characters could pop into one of our enchanting shacks, or visit one another? How wonderful if we could move the friggin’ furniture around once in awhile, eh? If you’re going to make it boring Blizzard, might as well go all out! Give us dishes to wash and beds to make!

The thing is, everyone needs a purpose and autonomy. We need to know if our characters and time are spent in an isolated land, we enjoy our own company. Right now Draenor is reminding me I don’t like being in my own head, and that’s a dangerous place to be.

So, let me go trap and hunt a few things. I’ll set a timer. And when that timer is up, logging off shall I to do some coloring outside the lines in my real world.

OLRG: Big hair blues

Kellda: Just relax. You’ll get that gear.

I have some unfortunate news: this Saturday, the 10th, and the 17th, I will be unavailable for OLRG shenanigans. This is quite disagreeable, because I am ready for some light-hearted adventures. I need to give a shout-out to Hawt: she is indeed one of the kindest, and most patient, team leaders I have ever met. If I had her for a supervisor, I can tell you the colors in my world would be much, much brighter. She let me bring my priest Zeptepi into Heroics last night. I worked and spent a ton of gold on her to get her ready, and have switched back to Holy, which I am in love with again, but she still needs gear. Turns out, a lot of her regular player friends have ALSO made the switch to Holy, and too many healers spoils the run, so I switched to Kellda the Warlock With the Big Hair but No Gear. Long story short: it occurred to me around midnight when I could not fall asleep I should have left the evening’s fun. I may have made it awkward for Hawt, and I never want to do that. Kellda is far from ready. You know when you get whispers from other players on how to play your character you’re in trouble. Um, hello!? Warlock expert here…but the numbers didn’t show it. Ah, the eternal Catch-22 of play: can’t get great DPS/HPS without gear, and can’t get gear unless you’re in the game, and can’t get in the game WHAT THE EFF ONLY THREE CRAFTED ITEMS? Talk about shenanigans. Blizzard limited the gear from LFR, so not only have they forced our collective hands to do normals+ if we want gear, we can’t even wear our handmade-clothes.

Poop.

So, yes, the frustration in my heart was fairly palatable last night. I still want to finish Dragon Soul, and some other places where there may be ponies.

But then I come across something like this, and think, FUNZ. No, no, that’s not nice. I think, “Look at that! When life gives you volcanoes, roast marshmallows!”

 

Wampus Cat.

New ELVUI AFK Screen: look at that sassy dancing face! Not sure how I feel about that...

As usual, strolling through the Garden of Edinternet this morning, and came across this little gem: Great monsters of North America…and look! A wampus cat! This…shouldn’t this be a druid ability? I think so. We have grown so accustomed to the monsters and mayhem in Azeroth, sometimes I don’t think we truly see how magnficent and terrifying these things would be if they existed. That may be my one complaint about Azeroth (Only one, Matty? Come on, you’re slacking!) it may be that the monsters are not all that scary. Not really. They’re comical, actually. There are bats, big furry Cat-man things, squiggly, tentacled things, giants, ghosty things, all manner of material and shape. Some, like the Saberon, move just like Worgen, and I wonder if there’s an ancestral link there somewhere. The Pale are the only ones that have truly creeped me out: they jump on you like a reverse piggy-back ride that is both creepy-as-efff and all I want to do is take a hot shower and drink Earl Grey after one has virtually touched me. Ewwwww. 

My favorite new monster may be the Botani. They are about as scary as all-natural skincare products from Aus. The Botani are pretty cool, and remind me of Groot-Druids. I am sure that was the intent: take popular culture and milk it, Blizzard-y style. Nothing is as terrifying has cross-pollination parasitic media marketing.

Sigh.

But ultimately, maybe that’s a good thing, these sanitized monsters. The real world pushes young, impulsive, misguided and deadly warriors to do cultish deeds of death and destruction. Take that, you real world monsters! I’ve got a voice, I’ve got a blog, and you CANNOT STOP ME. MAHAHAHHAHHAHHAAA