RTMT: Garrison Invasions: Wipe your sabatons!


Where are my “Mail Chausses of Chastisement” or “Stop Rib of Death?”

Garrison Invasions and You: A Harlequin Mystery


One important new game component to Warlords of Invited-to-Tea-And-Eat-All-the-Cookies Draenor are the garrison invasions. I have had a few thrown my way, but until Tome had a big boss one, I never knew there were big boss ones. She was worried she wouldn’t be able to get players to join, but in the time you could say “Kevin Costner standing in a corn field” we had forty or so players, and killed Commander Dro’gan before he could pull up his knickers. (Mataoka got a lovely healing cloak by the way, one “Starblotter’s Spellwrap.” So glad I had on restoration loot specialization. *sigh*

The thing is, I just haven’t figured it out yet. I am not playing the new game well at all, and still stuck in old habits, like leveling mages and spending too much gold. I found this new app called TimeHop, and all it’s done is make me realize what a rut I’ve been in for years. I see these notifications of what I said a year ago, five years ago, or 3 months ago, and nothing has changed. I haven’t changed. And that depresses me. Now, I am clever enough to realize a huge sword hanging over my head labeled “Be Careful What You Wish For.” Stable doesn’t necessarily mean bad.

In any case, maybe during a few days’ vacation I can shake things up in the garrison, and invite some friends to play.

From WoWhead:

#AzerothMadHatters (25-26-27-28-29)


Yup, all the crazy.

None of them are speaking to me. Not the shaman. The Mage. Not even the priest who is still annoyed she can’t be all three things: shadow, discipline, and holy. (Not my fault!) I have demanded too much, been chasing too many rabbits and wasting hours wishing to ride dragons.

But. There was hope in a box. (There always is, isn’t there?)

The box arrived yesterday, safe and sound. It cost a fortune to air ship it, probably triple what the contents cost, so that tells you it’s not the the money, it’s about friendship.

Dahahka sent me a care package, and not just any old care package, but a “emergency-voodoo-chocolate-Aussies-don’t-just -eat-vegemite-and-kangaroo-burgers” package. 

This is a picture of how I ripped into the cookies like a crazed wallaby after a three-day hunger strike:

Get. Out. Of. My. Box.
Get. Out. Of. My. Box.

One cookie did drop on the floor, and I used the 3-second rule to save it from an ignominious ending.

So not only were there Arnott’s Chocolate Ripple cookies (pro-tip: put strawberry ice-cream on them and make mini ice cream sandwiches OMGOMGOMGOOMG I am a genius), but Tim Tam cookies as well. They were judged “a bit too strong” for CD Rogue’s palette, but I told him to get his fat paws OFF MY COOKIES. No, I just said, “Oh, well these are flavors you’re just not used to,” and quietly slid the rest away from him. The box included a pouch with the label “Possum Pals” on the outside and filled with some mysterious shavings, which may be Eucalyptus bark, which I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to throw over a bonfire on Midsummer’s Night, dancing naked in the backyard while chanting a dream-time song, while CD Rogue plays the didjeridoo. Hilarity ensues.

Hey, there are some pretty evil spirits floating around now, and I’ll try anything.

Maybe I’ll just stick with strawberry ice cream and the Ripples.





#AzerothMadHatters (23/24)

If I wrote down the details of a few pivotal events that have occurred since Friday, you wouldn’t believe there could be a character as I would describe. That a real person exists who does the things she does. I feel like I’m dealing with Petyr Baelish and he’s given me a necklace. Tome has a funny post all about retail therapy, and it made me think, what is missing from my life? Time to write. I really need to exercise my flying monkeys and aim at some not-so-innocent chicas who stole my damn red shoes.

In the meantime, I am not digging the selfies.

This is not my beautiful hunter...
This is not my beautiful hunter…

Those fangs.

#AzerothMadHatters (22)

Remember how I kind of skipped over a few days? Kind of cheated? Well now I’m making up for it.


Cineza the Fire Mage is coming into her own: since they weakened warlocks so much Kellda is barely recognizable (I can’t get past Silver Proving Grounds with her. Can’t. Tried umpteen strategies and all the mojo I can muster. She’s weak.). Cinema, however, something changed, and she is so much fun to play again. Maybe it’s the moving and casting, which I so miss from Kellda, maybe it’s all the secret, invisible force fields of power, maybe it’s that her procs are a’proccin and she takes advantage of every pyroblast.

But yesterday, she wasn’t quite Level 96. I want you to look at this image and tell me all that’s wrong:

so closeYeah. That happened.

Now, will I go back, walk the tightrope again for the bits of tiny treasure in the box? Blinks don’t go backwards, but she does have her time spell, so maybe. We’ll see. She’s level 96 now.

And cool -she’ll go get that Spooky Scythe to transmog:

Polearm, Your Derpness
Polearm, Your Derpness

And then sometimes I just hate Trade, but at least I know what the trolls are up to.

one two


I repeat: I can’t even

#AzerothMadHatters (21)

“Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” – written by some dude so it could go into Interstellar…

I wanted to make today’s really funny, the spontaneous kind of funny where everyone would just crack up in a big smile, and family members and friend would wonder why readers were laughing maniacally at their computer screens. But it just didn’t happen. The funny didn’t come. And while picking flowers (along with mining are two things Haanta the Huntress hates), this little pollen monster attacked, and Haanta noticed his death face was so full of shock, so aghast at his untimely demise, she simply had to make note of it:sadHe just seems so surprised to be dead, like he’s about to say something in protest but that mortal coil, or chlorophyll, didn’t even have time to say goodbye.

Now ya’ll are probably wondering what the OLRG is up to. I figured out how to get Mumble to work with my good buddies Jen and Cymre. They hopped on my server, and then it took Cub to push one more button so they could hear me, and then good to go.

OLRG is in hiatus, but I need you. Still things I can’t do things by myself, and furthermore, don’t want to do by myself. Simple as that.

Oh, and I’m reading this right now:


#AzerothMadHatters (17/18/19)

I got nothing. Really.

Just this.


Momokawa talks to the gnome every day to see what new gadgets he has. He usually has nothing new. (I never would have guessed that earthy-grungy-crunchy earth mother Momo would be such a gear head.) Well, she does enjoy blowing stuff up just like the rest of us. Maybe the gnome is just as confused as we are, and that’s why he keeps making the same old stuff. Oh well. Smoked chicken, anyone?

Love me some Lobster! No, Liebster…


Both Dahahka and Syrco Owl nom-nom-nominated me! Now they have all the rules and stuff, and did it up right. I’ll nominate Plaid Elf, and then I’m take a lazy pass and ask her to look up their blogs for da rules.

Da Rules

My Questions (Dahahka)

  1. How often do you go out to a restaurant? I try to go about once a week with CD Rogue, but the job situation is going to put that on the kabash until for a bit. There is a little pub nearby, and the shots are big, the beer is cold, and the pizza hot. I can’t get annoyed with him over a cold Mac-n-Jack.
  2. If you could design the next playable race for an MMO (of your choice), what kind of race would it be? First, it’s not so much the race as the specialization. We need gnome hunters, druids, and shamans. But, since people be hatin’ on shawties, I suppose my first choice would be Vykrul. Helllsyes.
  3. You have to spend the next year in a different culture. Where would you choose to spend it? My babies were very, very big. The doctor asked if I had Samoan blood. I think anywhere around Pacific Islanders would be just dandy. I need way more “island time” thinking and much less “uptight caucasian time.”And more ghost chips.

The greatest gift you ever gave me, Dah:

  1. What kinds of things make you laugh in games? When my friend Señor tells a stupid joke, or when I see a player who is obviously marching to his or her own beat, and loving life.
  2. Is freedom really free? Oh paradoxes. Yes. Because matter is infinite. 
  3. Name a book that was better than the movie, and a movie that was better than the book. This is a tough one, because I love to analyze both books and movies, and then use the other to synergize both ways. I love the Harry Potter series, but damn, love those movies too, and same with Hunger Games, Hobbit, etc. There are some movies that should never be books, like The Big Lebowski, or anything by Wes Anderson.  I hear lines from movies in my head way more than quotes from books. 
  4. If you had no access to a computer/tablet/phone for gaming, what would you do instead? Read a book. I’ve done that once in awhile.
  5. What is the best pizza topping? Only one? Sweet Italian sausage.
  6. Do you think raiding is a net positive or a net negative for MMO games? Net positive. *sigh* I think. Wait. Maybe.
  7. Favourite alcoholic (or faux-holic) beverage? Silver Patron Tequila.
  8. What is the one feature you would love to see in your game of choice that isn’t currently there? Chieves for stupid shit: going through 5 tanks in an LFR, or rolling 20 extra seals for gold = mount, shit like that. Oh, and more cross faction play. 

Have at it!


My questions for them (Syrco)

  1. Why did you start this blog? Some days I really wonder. There are so many more interesting voices and talent out there. Tome is nicer, Navimie is insightful, Plaid Elf is kind, and Garrosh is just fucking awesomely talented. And he makes lemon squares. You are amazing, too. Hell, the real people behind blogs are far too numerous to mention. This is going to start sounding like an Oscar speech and cheesy music is going to play me off stage.
  2. What is your favorite thing to do in WoW at the moment? Burn stuff to the ground when I can.
  3. Name three bands/singers that would be in your dream festival lineup? Neil Finn, The 1964 version of The Beatles, and then…Neil Finn would sing just to me. Wait…I’ll be back in a minute. 
  4. Where do you find inspiration for the names of your WoW characters? Well, Mataoka is Pocohonta’s “formal” name, and I just thought it sounded shaman-y: Zeptepi is an ancient city, Ceniza means ‘ash’ in Spanish, Momokawa is a kind of sake (another favorite drink) and Kellda is from the irreplaceable Terry Pratchett’s book, Wee Free Men. Godspeed Sir Pratchett.
  5. Which place in the world do you have to visit before you die and why? Tome and I are going to New Zealand and eat ghost chips. And wear our Helms of the Fierce Bison. (And do you know how much I EFFING LOVE when I Google Helm of the Fierce Bison that comes up right away!?)
  6. What are your hobbies (aside from blogging and WoW)? Hobbies..hobbies…hmmm…wrangling sloths, monitoring the culture, looking for device chargers, writing, and pretending I’m a witch.
  7. What would you like to see in a future WoW expansion? Just give me the damn loot, RNGs, and get over your bad self.
  8. Where do you see yourself in 20 years? Damn, a hot grandma? Hopefully not dead.
  9. Would you/do you play WoW with your children? Why/why not? They won’t play with ME. Pfft. Ingrates.
  10. What is one of your current goals for this year? Maybe put on my walking shoes and see if I can take my special sauce somewhere else. *shrug*
  11. If you could have a WoW NPC named after you, what kind of NPC would it be and what would it say/do? OH OH OH OH This is really it, and this would be SHOKEWL: I would be a librarian in all the libraries around Azeroth–you don’t have to go hunt down all the books to either get the pet or the chieve, you can just check out books from me for a small fee. I would be the Keeper of All That is Awesome, and have answers about interesting things to do and learn about Azeroth. And yes, I would be sexy.