Je ne parle pas Jewel Crafting…

imp master vale
Imp Master DJ Vale and the Feltones

Look, I’m sorry, okay? I have squandered the most precious of resources – my Azerothian friends and their good will. My writing talents lie fallow (lay fallow?) and I am just not in ‘the know’ anymore. (Thank goodness Tome is!) Am I having fun derping around the jungle? Well, sure. There are some quick and fun goodies that pull me in and out fast and easy. Trinkets to change looks, get to rares quickly, apexes crystals raining down loot upgrades like nobody’s business.

But there’s that one thing.

The fact that my main JC recipe lies in a mythic dungeon, Skyreach, something I can only pug and then something always goes f*cking wrong. This last time:


I joined a group, the main tank said something in French, I wrote this, tabbed out to look at a map, and when I returned five seconds later I had been removed, and when I looked for the group again in the pre-mades, they were gone. So maybe it wasn’t because I couldn’t speak French, or maybe they decided to go with another healer, who the F*CK KNOWS. All I know is my recipe for the +75 haste gem is sitting in a place that has been obstructed to me.

Blizzard: DAFUQ. Please– PLEASE — do not put recipes in places where the average grown-up player with a life, job, and other shit to do can’t go!


warlock skin

I have yet to get a ghostly hat, or some of the other fun things. I don’t understand the elite pets strewn around, they just laugh at my poor pet battling skills.

Maybe it’s time I shift my focus to some anthropological or historical work around Azeroth. This letter is an example of a ‘primary source document.’ something near and dear to humanities scholars.

Every NPC has a story to tell..
Every NPC has a story to tell..

Primary sources include original texts/documents or artifacts. I admit, one dream job of mine would be to write quest logs and these little gems around Azeroth/Draenor. Maybe I’ll reinstall My Role Play and mix things up a bit.

You know, something to do while I’m waiting for a Mythic pug.

10 thoughts on “Je ne parle pas Jewel Crafting…”

  1. Crap, are they serious? I hadn’t even bothered to look into JC because I don’t even think my JC (Shaman) would survive the boat trip to Tanaan let alone a mythic dungeon. I’ll have to break the news to my girls, no fancy gems for them this go round.

    1. It’s ridiculous. Did they not think we wouldn’t notice? Tome, I swear you are the Blizzard-whisperer – say something on your blog, and maybe they’ll fix this egregious action!

  2. Meh! I’ve not used epic gems on any toon since Wrath. Though, I’m sure there’s a lot of gold to be had from it. Hell, I don’t even really worry about rare quality gems anymore either.

  3. A (hopefully) helpful note from a lurking reader. If you want to try your hands at the legendary pet battles I use a trio that has yet to be defeated (though there have been some close calls with the giant eye, damn his/her/it stuns). I’ve not found all of the pet battles yet (too many distracting things all around) though I have done most, at least that is what the achievement tell me.

    To the list!
    A Pandaren Water Spirit
    A shiny Chrominius
    An Anubisath Idol

    – First I start of with the Spirit, cast Geyser and then Whirlpool.
    – Switch to Chrominius, cast Howl and then either Bite or Surge of Power depending on health left of pet, sometimes you can Surge the next pet in the line up instead (my general rule of thumb is sub 300HP I use Bite otherwise Surge).
    – Then in comes Anubisath Idol, cast Sandstorm on CD, then use Crush until all the pets die, if your health is sketchy cast Deflection on CD.

    If all but the Idol die before legendary pet is dead just switch it in and follow above rotation, should still be doable. Sandstorm is too awesome.

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