OLRG: Turkeys On Parade

This is how vain I am.

So Thursday night, running with the raid team, and Kuzzyfin isn’t there, so no need to defend my lack of skills, and feeling pretty good about things, I see this…SHAMAN…behind me…and she’s beautiful:

other girl

What. The. Hell.

So I go in for a comparison shot:

No doubt. She is the fairer one of all, by a pixel, but it may as well have been a mile. She seems to have a slightly sweeter expression than the one Miss Sourtotems has, but am I just seeing things? Same horns, same skin tone, minuscule change in hair, but what? What is it? I don’t know.

Recently I posted a picture of me and one of my best friends from about twenty years ago. Bad idea. She looks exactly the same. I, however, do not. I look back on my twenty-one something self and wag my finger of regret (this is Sunday night, by the way, and I just went for a walk with our puppy, and am drinking a beer. CHOICES PEOPLE).

Wait, regret? Naw. I’m still awesome. CD Rogue loves me. My pixels may be in more abundance than twenty years ago, and some lines may have shifted a bit, but it’s okay. I’ve got my OLRG, and people understand when I look more like this:

Screen Shot 2015-11-19 at 7.18.57 PM.png

 

So Old Ladies: Do you have company coming into town for the Thanksgiving weekend? Damn. Do you still want to try to do some Mists Raids? Maybe? Maybe yes? I’ve heard that raiding keeps us young, so perhaps?

I’ll put the call out on Saturday, and I bet we can even borrow a buddy’s Vent. If you’re around, great, if not, I understand.

We’re not getting any younger, ya know.

 

Damn pixels.

 

OLRG: Can’t do it alone!

old southern
There are a lot of unspoken rules out there that apply to me: *sigh*

Thanks to those who could make it out for OLRG: Panda Version this Saturday. It’s not like we didn’t have a few other things on our minds, and November…damn you November. Seriously. It’s the month where annually I am reminded about what a failure I am in all life’s goals. No novel, no fresh new ideas for Thanksgiving, deeply in debt, expectations running high and willpower and energy running low. But hey – at least i can get some chieves, right? Well turns out Mogu and Temple and such aren’t so easy with a small band – those fish-men and temple guardians don’t roll over or play fetch. And the bug things? Fuggedaboutit. They are not going into anyone’s insect display just yet. So, I’m going to have to read up, and enlist my merry band of old ladies once again. And possibly put in an add-on such as RaidAchievement, perhaps?

pand raider

Since this screenshot was taken, two more have been checked off the list – Must Love Dogs and Like an Arrow. The Dogs one we didn’t follow directions (what? me? not follow directions?!) and had any old mongrel, but NooOOOOOooooOOOooo it was supposed to be a perky pug –those butt-scooching, yippy-barking –never mind. Yes, I know pugs have great ‘personalities’ but somehow their snuffling charm is a bit lost on me….and since thieves were on the line, after the OLRG I went in on my own, took the pug out of its crate, and got that one.

But seriously: as much as I wish I was that bad-ass that I could go in there with my own bad self and check stuff off, it’s way more fun and satisfying with friends. Let me know if you can ever go along – I know Saturday afternoons are tough for most of us. Maybe Sunday afternoons? When we’re feeling the Sunday creep, and need something to distract us from what I’m feeling right now, the Monday morning IT’S TOO SOON feeling? Anyway– till next time my stalwart friends. Take heart, be brave, and never apologize for your love of all things fun, joyful, hedonistic, sexy, playful, and caring.

Don’t mess with kangas.

Pew pew!
Pew pew!

Turns out doing a flying dragon kick to Illidan’s squirrel snack-pack pants is a great way to scare the mog gear out of him. Haanta sought this bow for a very long time, and Illidan handed it right over to her today, no questions asked. He barely monologged. Isn’t it gorgeous? Smells like vanilla and fel fire.

What is the deal with the new mog closest coming out this next expansion, anyway? Is working for mog gear going to be a thing of the past?

Transmog

So does this mean the Headless Horseman helm that my hunters have gotten a thousand times over, but Luperci Who Is Not A Failed Paladin can now wear it? Really?!

kang
Hey, how come we don’t have kangaroos as a pet option?

Maybe this is Blizzard finally seeing why players love transmog, and understanding that our accounts are just that, our accounts with a variety of alts. Even if you’re not an altaholic, how fun to mix and match gear? This may drive the purists insane, but *shrug*.

Thanks for making the virtual world a bit more pretty, cause the real world is sure sucking at it right now.

no…just…no

illidan nuts
Dude. No.

Illidan, ILLIDAN! I know you’re lonely, feeling discouraged, no one swiping your Tinder or whatever, but damn man, did you have to freeze my poor monk is this…embarrassing position? Don’t you know you’re going to be a star again next expansion? The green goo is simply OOOooooOOOzing out of your love shack! Those concubines and consorts haven’t just been hanging out filing their nails you know – you’ve had plenty of love in that palace.

Maybe this is a sign, a portent of things to come, that this monk will be fierce in the next expansion, and kick you in the n….squirrel chow.

Bloggers: have you ever taken a screenshot that made you blush?

Art and truth.

File this under “I should but I can’t ever get over it” category: I still mourn the loss of my smiling shaman, instead of the resting bitchy face one I currently have (and that is the only choice for Draenei models). 

You can’t tell me this sweet smile isn’t better than there other:

pretty fly screenshot
From MMO Champion

That is a continuing issue as to why I don’t play like I used to. Just give me her smile back, please. It’s her character, her soul–and if she doesn’t have that, then the challenge of writing about a character who’s been taken from me is challenging at best.

But–I still appreciate the fan art–those who have the talent to draw the characters the way they see them. Someday I’ll find the quiet space to create my own again, but this morning for instance, on a day off (thank you Veterans!) I find myself scurrying to clean up because the carpet cleaners are coming because we’re having Thanksgiving guests and I have too many books around the room and and and CD Rogue left the kitchen a mess (again) last night and and and you get the idea. In the meantime, enjoy this — I appreciate the grittiness mixed with other-worldly sweetness:
draenei_by_xxpeachezxx

And this one, which looks like a Blood Elf and Draenei produced a child:

draenei_warrior_by_siakim-d3bgigs

And this one:

draenei_murkah_by_ybourykina-d68o5mv

I miss my girl–maybe through Warlords Mataoka’s seen some shit she can’t un-see. Maybe there’s another story there, I’m not sure. For now she needs to go clean up the rotting pumpkins around the garrison, and get a cup of coffee from Starbucks. And then post some rant about its design that others think is poorly designed because Baby Jesus isn’t riding a reindeer with a snowman.

hail satan
Venti Flat Whites always taste better with a little brimstone sprinkled on, and non-fat sulfuric soy milk.

Naw, I’ll just be sad about the Draenei design. Just a little bit.

Why is the warlock standing there?

kellda

So very anti-climatic: the prodigal blogger returns and this is what I bring? A post about my non-WoW life? I admit am in this weird limbo now–no, that’s not fair. I dug my way out of the rabbit hole but still have dirt until my nails, and took a few worm ends with me. Focusing on work, our puppy, and trying to read more have occupied me fairly fully. But I can’t stay away from Azeroth altogether, but I do question my sanity every time I log in.

For instance, the other night I popped in to see what my raid team was up to. There is a druid healer, let’s just call him “Kuzzyfin.” He is kind of…my impression…sort of….immature. A grown man who gets very agitated when others makes mistakes. That night I must have been mentally bird walking, and he yells in raid chat, “WHY IS THE WARLOCK STANDING OVER THERE!?” F*ck if I know. And let’s be clear: the only reason a warlock, my warlock, was standing anywhere is because they wanted someone with rocks and a portal. I warned them I am terrible at warlock-ing now. Blizzard broke my warlock, and I can’t seem to find the means of gluing her back together. Raiding? Not sure. /meh

The warlock, kind Kuzzyfin, is standing where she wants to be, and you all have been raiding together for months, and one little errant warlock is not going to mess things up. I saw Helke pat him on the back/emote and I asked her to stop it. He strikes me as petulant and mean, a spoiled brat. And trust me: I don’t have patience for spoiled brats–either in Azeroth or real life. Or the real life of Azeroth.

So here’s the thing: in my MMORPG there isn’t enough of the R-to-keep-me-Play-ing. I’ve drained the accounts on making my garrison as customized as I am capable. and I’m with Tome on this one: No big moose to ride? EFU. I want a damn moose.

moose mount

Seriously.

Give me a damn moose or the dwarf gets it. (She being the Master of Hollow Threats.)

What else? Oh yeah- the 100 level boost. Yes, of course I bought the pre-game like a SUCKER – but I missed Sajja and just couldn’t stomach leveling another character to 100. Why, Matty, what’s the big deal. Well let’s just say I had 9 level 100s and Sajja makes the 10th.

Yes, nine. And now baby monk makes ten:

  1. Mataoka –our one and only World’s Most Beautiful Shaman
  2. Zeptepi (priestess)
  3. Kellda (sh*tty warlock)
  4. Haanta (huntress)
  5. Ceniza (mage)
  6. Luperci(paladin)
  7. Momokawa (druid)
  8. Pessah (priest)
  9. Selkaa (huntress on Navi’s realm/guild)
  10. Sajja -monk

Notice the lack of death knights, rogues, and warriors? Yup. Can’t figure those out.

Oh, and Blizzcon? Yes, could have gone again this year but opted to stay home. Not sure why. Oh I know why. A SH*T TON OF COLD HARD CASH THAT’S WHAT.

My Hallow’s Eve decorations are still up in the garrison. The guild bank is full of useful resources I squander. And my coffee’s getting cold. I love the trailers:

Movie

and the expansion:

If you want news about wha Blizz is really up to, go see Cymre, Tome, or Navi.

One thing– writing little stories about Azeroth did make me happy, and little joys are awesome.

And by the way, asked a real New Zealander if this smells like New Zealand:

IMG_0019

yes.

yes it does.

Postscript:

IMG_1824 (1)

and just read:

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel 

Don’t go through that book alone.