After all these years…

So. Um. So. *Digs big hoof in the dirt, pretending not to hear…* I have been playing WoW for a fairly long time. And yet, in so many ways I am still such a noob. Call it imposter syndrome, call it fate, call it what you will, but to this day I can still get kicked from a group because I can’t jump in the VELEN-DAMNED WALING CAVERNS ENTRANCE.Blackfathom Deeps (Sigh: Can’t even get the name right!)

A few weeks back, there was a Hearthstone deal: level a character to 20 and the reward is a new heroine, Lady Liadrin. Her hammer burns with Holy Fire, ya know, (and as CD Rogue said, she should see a doctor about that…). She is very serious about that paladin thing. So, because I fail at most things now, why not pick a character for redemptive qualities, another warlock? And of all the new character models, warlocks are the best.

 

bexxa

Bexxa, the Troll Warlock, even with her big three-toed feet couldn’t coordinate her space bar timed properly with forward motion. Yes, I was removed from a level 20-ish dungeon because I couldn’t jump over rocks. They were clearing everything fine without me, so instead of waiting for my ill-coordinated goofiness to jump, I got all the more nervous, kept failing, and they summarily kicked me out.

To them, it was this important:

real world math

And as far as that Hearthstone thing, it’s become an unhealthy addiction. I hate myself for playing it, and how bad I am after all this time. Now, you should know something else: I NEVER, and I mean NEVER win at the Hearthstone Arenas. No, I don’t read strategies. I’d rather bitch about it.

Here’s what I have learned:

  • Never, ever leave a shaman with minions late in the match. He/she will use their bloodlust card and cream you. Do everything you can to take those minions OUT.
  • ALWAYS HIT SQUELCH. You don’t need a player named “RubbingMyNips” to tell you “Well played” at the point in the match when he/she has obliterated your character. It will put you in a murderous rage.

Anything else? Nope, not much. It’s a perfect game for the process-addicted such as myself. I long for the day when pet battles are made for phones/tablets. I never log in and say to myself, “Gee, I’d really like to see pets die in game,” but I would if it was on my tablet and I could play during lunch breaks, etc. I have no real raiding life anymore, and once in a while will mess around with mogging:

zep april

selkaa

So that’s about it for now. I’m trying to stay calm during this election cycle. It is truly…crazy. I have long-time friends telling me how wrong I am, (don’t ask), and honestly have just been burying my noggin in books and getting my tail handed to me at Hearthstone.

Yes, sometimes I am an introvert.

This is epic:

http://louderminds.com/introverts-9-circles-hell/

 

13 thoughts on “After all these years…”

  1. I still avoid the Blackfathom Deeps hopscotch and just circle around the back. -shudder-

    My son can routinely perform well enough at Arenas to “Play for free”. So, of course, I have a valid reason to avoid it.

    1. It was Blackfathom – I corrected my mistake. I need to figure out that back way because…

      I don’t pay for Arena matches: I collect enough coins until I can play for free, and then lose, lose, and lose again. Disheartening at best. I did win one yesterday when the other player disconnected, so got that going for me.

  2. I went in Blackfathom one time with a group many years ago, it might have even been my first character. I never got to see it as I couldn’t jump around on those freaking rocks.

    Ha! The seventh circle is pretty funny at our house. The phone rings and both my husband and I immediately find something urgent we need to do. I guess we’re hoping if it’s important they’ll just leave a message.

    And that is the best idea ever, I would love to battle pets on the iPad!

  3. Don’t be too disheartened: I do know the strategies, and the relative strengths and weaknesses of cards in arena, and yet I STILL rarely get more than one or two wins. Even with a good deck! I honestly do not know what more I have to do. Maybe I have to grease some palms? Learn a secret handshake? Know a guy who knows a guy who can hook me up? I had a dream of “going infinite” (making an actual profit on arenas on a regular basis) but that dream met reality in a dark alley and got mugged.

  4. There’s also an important jumping test in Wailing Caverns. It’s only a single jump and few have as big a problem with it on the second try. It hits first because you don’t see it until too late. And it’s a painfully long run back. Knowing it’s there USUALLY means success.

    Regarding Hearthstone, I taught my sons and their friends everything they know. Unfortunately, I can’t remember everything I know. It’s usually of the “Oh yes, I remember now that it’s too late…”

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