Category Archives: Warlords of Drainer

Death by houseplants.

in my own dojo
Carry on, Sergeant.

The story you’re about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Mataoka wandered around the grounds of her own estate–a magnificent, palatial estate. From her humble beginnings, however, she felt uncomfortable as ‘lady of the manor,’ with awkward and sheepish interactions with the grounds staff and security, sensing a small amount of paranoia. She had yet to take full command of her troops, as her title and rank suggested.

While picking flowers in the herb garden, the gardeners standing aside, rooted in place, a small monster leapt out from the dirt, biting, scratching, gnawing: it overcame her best abilities and killed her! It half-covered her body in peat moss and potting soil; as she ran back from the grave, furious, embarrassed, and seeking vengeance over a house plant, she arrived back at the scene of the crime to find one of the footmen rousted from the drinking hall dispatching the plant. Where was this trooper when the plant was making Mataoka allergic…allergic to living? For Velen’s sake–sitting in a Rylak Claw shop on her hind-quartermasters?

Mataoka saw it all clearly. Not only would she need a bodyguard to pick flowers, but would have to take full command and be the leader they all expected her to be. This was nothing to sneeze at, and it smelled like elekk fertilizer.

Or be killed by flowers.

Theme song:

Weeds for Roses

weeeeeak

ice cream truck wife

Years ago, CD Rogue showed me this photo series a husband took of his wife when she missed the Ice Cream Man.

This was me tonight:

No ice cream for you.
No ice cream for you.

Yes, that’s me, crying under a warlock robe my son put on me when he took pity on my sorry self. I’m doing everything I can to avoid reading blogs about conquests and happiness, while I see from Hearthstone (which I’ve lost repeatedly) my Battletag friends in zones of Garrisons and Joy. Leveling! Happy! Saving Azeroth! Saving Azeroth ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Is this writing one of “those” letters to Blizzard worth it? Is it time to go goblin and demand reparations? I’m just too heartsick. I have to go to bed now because I have a big presentation tomorrow, but do want to stop and wish Tome a VERY happy birthday! Don’t mind me, Tome, while I cry under this blanket, okay?

So what’s a Draenei to do but curl up in a fetal position by the fire on a cold night, and read The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell, and try to get a better attitude? We finally watched Maleficent, but my heart wasn’t really in it. When I went back to check on my queue, I saw the screen, and there smiling like Aurora on a prom date was Mataoka, beckoning me! CLICK CLICK LADY CLICK! AND THUNK – nada. No go.

Despair.

Crawling back under the blankets now. At least the dust bunnies love me.