Tag Archives: Orcs

Minority Report: Orcs

Orc and Draenei
Orc and Gnome

It’s too damn early in the morning and I haven’t made coffee yet, so this will be incoherent gibberish. What else is new? Everyone is loving the new and improved Orcs. The Horde has the new mount, Orcs won the new model redesign, possibly even out-distancing Dwarfs’, and they are the feature of Warlords of Draenor.

They even – yes – even get a second chance.

A second chance to be good? To behave? No, smash kill smash without the fel-blood hangover.

Everyone is excited. Everyone is happy. Everyone–and here comes Negative Nancy...but…

Me.

I can’t help but ask, where are the Draenei and Night Elf races journeys for healing and redemption? Where will their stories lead them? Will they be offered the Green Goo of Deals-with-Demons Kool-aid and get to make a choice? Will this bring back their loved ones, or will they just have to watch the scenes play out again? Are they just background noise for the Orcs now? Is everyone background noise for the Orcs now? 

You may be thinking I don’t like Orcs now – not true. I really like all races – each one has both redemptive and unique flaws that potentially create well-rounded narratives. (And thank goodness I don’t depend all my narrative fantasies on Blizzard: I would never play. Mattel didn’t give me stories for my Barbie dolls – I made them up, and elaborate ones they were indeed.)

As I have mentioned, I sometimes envy those who not only understand the intricacies of lore, but also have a vested interest in sides/allegiances. I don’t dislike Horde anymore than I prefer Alliance. I responded to characters, not politics. And I still feel the same. But perhaps we humans are a bloodthirsty species after all: just read the chatter and comments whenever Jaina is doing whatever it is she does; she’s the ‘worst mage’ is one of the kinder comments. And when the peace-loving family man Thrall is confronting Garrosh, well he’s called a wuss among other things. Peace? Peace is for chumps. What’s so funny about peace, love, and understanding? Everything.

Last relic of Draenei lore...
Where they buried your lore, princess…

Mataoka wandered around Auchidoun yesterday, and purposeful Draenei spirits walked to their own destinations. And this is where you will realize what an idiot I am: until young cub pointed out it is a maseoleum, a graveyard.  One Blizzard player asked, where is the Draenei lore? There is no Draenei lore anymore. This relic took Mataoka to, of all places, Fray Island: she found herself in a tower watching an Orc and Troll fight.

landed me

fray island

The expansion looks incredible, and I am going to enjoy it: I just had to get this off my breastplate. I have valued From Draenor With Love’s series, especially their slant on friendships between Orcs and Draenei. Both races were abused by unmitigated power, as all the world’s inhabitants are. Here’s a cup of cheer to wish them both a better future. But I have my doubts: I’ll speak softly and carry a big pole arm. Better yet: a big pencil, and write my own stories.

A Warehouse of Warlocks

No, a “Warehouse of Warlocks” is not sexy. I love trying my hand at collective nouns, and Hasteur offered a great suggestion, “A Shadow Council of Warlocks.” However, I need alliteration, though. NEED IT.

If you come up with something better, please, by all means.

A Worship of Warlocks?

A Waxen of Warlocks? 

A Wayward of Warlocks?

A Wanting of Warlocks? —Hmmm- this has distinct possibilities, because let me introduce you to my latest self-imposed challenge: a warlock in every race available. Why? Well if you have to ask…

But, of course, I have rules.

I always have rules.

1. They must have red/auburn hair

2. They must all reach level 90 by the end of summer (yes, some cheating allowed by gifts of boosts)

3. They must each have a story written for them.

So, who can join the secret warlock club? Cause when you mix blue and red, you get purple.

Representing Alliance:

Worgen

Leita
Leita

Humans

Kellda
Kellda

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gnomes

Buyongxie
Buyongxie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dwarfs

Kassisse
Kassisse

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FOR THE HORDE:

Blood Elves

CeiCei
CeiCei

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Orcs

Azz
Azzarra

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trolls

Lock and Troll
Lock and Troll

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goblins

She's seen some shit...
She’s seen some shit…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forsaken

Lovely Escarlata
Lovely Escarlata

When it comes to Warlocks, somehow all my race biases fall away. Worgen look amazing as Warlocks, and of course Orcs are born to the fel-fire. Does it bother me the Horde Warlocks outnumber the Alliance? Perhaps. I love an even playing field, but alas, warlocks are not about playing fair.

And I will ad this – I totally get my dear friend Tome. When I glance in the mirror and see all the flaws, and the weathering, sometimes I just want to pack it in. Forget the lotion and under-eye concealer! I have a hundred little eyes looking at me every day, searching for signs of stress, and they are my little mirrors: “You look happier today, Miss Matty,” or “Yesterday you seemed grumpy, but today you seem better, less stressed.” Really, I don’t even need mirrors anymore. But I looked up the ‘smile in the mirror ad’ this morning, and came across this parody. Now that made me laugh. My Azerothian characters make me smile, and warlocks most of all. If anyone wants to join me in the “Dressed to the Nines” challenge of sorts, please – BYOI (Bring Your Own Imp).

Oh, and this is no octopus, but a demon disguised as one: