It’s official: I’m bored! (Or, my soul’s boundless needs…)

Mama Needs Mana put out a survey about our possible ennui in Warlords.

What causes boredom, aka, “Mere existence does not satisfy us?”

Well, as I predicted, my concern was that as an avid alta-holic, having multiple garrisons would wear on me. Yes, there have been surprises along the way with quests, regions, and class-specific needs, but I have to confess: the gold, the mining, the herb garden, and the professional cool-downs really have me down. And though I love pets, I hate leveling them, and am not a big fan of pet battles. So there is a neglected Leo the Lioness NPC on all characters, and a fishing shack that smells like yesterday’s sushi.

So why don’t I relish fishing, pet battles, etc.? I don’t know why. For real, if I could do pet battles on my i-pad I would be all over them. But Blizzard lags with tablet content, hell, they just got Hearthstone out for Android players. I’m sick of getting apex crystals for one and all, sick of getting tokens for rolls that turn into gold 90% of the time, and sick, really, kind of -eff-u-Blizz mad about the three craft items. Really? REALLY?!?!?! Can’t make it four, and then get some of tier bonus? No ‘you cool player, making this fake shit over years of your life, here’s a treat?’ buff? Haanta is at 612, and because the only way to get her gear is by doing heroic dungeons, which means I have to do Silver PG, or crafting things, which she’s at her limit, she’s screwed. No Molten Core Soup for you, hunter girl! What would have been a VERY nice touch is if Blizzard had made our crafted items Account Bound.

Yes, I know. This is the nature of MMOs. Go play something different. Get a fresh perspective. Sometimes I think we get saturated with change. I had this epiphany today that Draenor is wonderful, but it’s too much. If they had allowed us to have better models, (still not over it, still….not…..over….it)…..keep our beautiful characters as they were to the rest of the world, and not just to our own deluded mirrors, if they had provided a means of sharing garrison resources among all of our characters. For example, how cool if our characters could pop into one of our enchanting shacks, or visit one another? How wonderful if we could move the friggin’ furniture around once in awhile, eh? If you’re going to make it boring Blizzard, might as well go all out! Give us dishes to wash and beds to make!

The thing is, everyone needs a purpose and autonomy. We need to know if our characters and time are spent in an isolated land, we enjoy our own company. Right now Draenor is reminding me I don’t like being in my own head, and that’s a dangerous place to be.

So, let me go trap and hunt a few things. I’ll set a timer. And when that timer is up, logging off shall I to do some coloring outside the lines in my real world.

Death by houseplants.

Carry on, Sergeant.

The story you’re about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Mataoka wandered around the grounds of her own estate–a magnificent, palatial estate. From her humble beginnings, however, she felt uncomfortable as ‘lady of the manor,’ with awkward and sheepish interactions with the grounds staff and security, sensing a small amount of paranoia. She had yet to take full command of her troops, as her title and rank suggested.

While picking flowers in the herb garden, the gardeners standing aside, rooted in place, a small monster leapt out from the dirt, biting, scratching, gnawing: it overcame her best abilities and killed her! It half-covered her body in peat moss and potting soil; as she ran back from the grave, furious, embarrassed, and seeking vengeance over a house plant, she arrived back at the scene of the crime to find one of the footmen rousted from the drinking hall dispatching the plant. Where was this trooper when the plant was making Mataoka allergic…allergic to living? For Velen’s sake–sitting in a Rylak Claw shop on her hind-quartermasters?

Mataoka saw it all clearly. Not only would she need a bodyguard to pick flowers, but would have to take full command and be the leader they all expected her to be. This was nothing to sneeze at, and it smelled like elekk fertilizer.

Or be killed by flowers.

Theme song:

Weeds for Roses

Mataoka’s Dream House

A beautiful picture of Mataoka always makes me feel better…old model

I wish there was an English word that meant love/hate all at once – like schadenfreude means ‘pleasure in others’ pain’ or something like that. Ambiguity or ambivalence doesn’t quite cut it.

What do I love about WoD? I am digging everything Big Bear said.

With a big, big butt but:

I wish my alts, which are really other mains, could be part of the same garrison, which Grimmtooth underscored in a comment.

I am dreading going through this content x4, or x5. Who do I leave behind? Zeptepi, who is a master tailor and enchanter? Momokawa, who is an excellent herbalist and alchemist? What about Kellda? Inscription and herbalist, and power-house of damage? Maybe Haanta gets left behind, but with her leather-working and skinning, she is my second true love. Okay, then Ceniza, fiery mage of passion and humor? Sorry, Lady Ceniza, you’re not welcome?

Why can’t I have ALL my ladies of Draenor come live in the same garrison, under one roof?

Too much to hope for.

I am breaking my vow of silence over this issue. I’m not even sorry. When I saw that Blizzard posted a cute little animation about their model changes, I saw only white-hot rage. And to read the comments, about how many players can’t wait to see Blood Elves. I say be careful what you wish for, dear players. They could give your beloved characters dead-eye stare of Draenei, the soulless mocking apathy, or the hysterical, hyper-exaggerated amateurish, mouth-lit human female model, or the bovine Tauren. I’m sorry – I am still bitter.

Damn – and Luperci! Her blacksmithing skills are incredible.

Damn.

Damn.

Damn.

Draenor Resolutions…I swear it…

What better place to make resolutions than Times Square?

Sometimes–now don’t argue with me–don’t everyone protest at once–I can get a little, um…negative. If fed a steady diet of conspiracy theorists and Pinterest Fails on social media, it’s bound to take a toll. Not too mention I feel like a chump when I tried to talk Helke out of her personal Mecca, Blizzcon. This is the friend who has been so generous, so much like fairy godmother to me, and here I am in a conversation last night saying that the Ball isn’t all the great, and the Prince has halitosis. Not cool, Matty. Not cool.

Henceforth, I am declaring my Warlords of Draenor Resolutions, my solemn oath to move forward these next few weeks with a bit of a better ‘tude:

• I promise to honor my beloved classes: they train, they each bring unique abilities to the family
• I shall try to make everyone in the Drunken Fish feel that they are getting what they need: if they want to do their own thing, great. If they want to do group things, all they have to do is let me know.
• I will cherish my friends
• I will not care about the artificial boundaries of Alliance and Horde (I never did actually, so this will be easy.)

I can’t speak for the warlocks; they don’t take vows.

Eight-ball

 

 

 

 

 

Et tu, Tome? Oh no – it’s happening. Betas going out, folks posting about WoD, and I am having to avoid reading my favorite blogs because I don’t want to know anything. See anything. Think about anything. I am in blissful ignorance. Actually, I don’t blame Tome one bit. She is my sister of the Helm of the Fierce Bison clan, after all, and those bonds run deeper than garrison posts or Khadgar fashion. Way deeper. No one gets between me and my Tome.

Helm of the Fierce Bison Sisterhood

But let me tell you something about ignorance: it is expensive. Take for example how many times I was taking items in and out of the void bank, paying high interest rates, when young leet druid told me that that had been fixed long ago, that you can just tab on a button while in the dressing room of mog and see all of your gear/fashion. /stupidme And there was something else that happened recently where I did something so stupid, simply because I wasn’t keeping up with WoW Insider news recently. I cannot keep up with it all, and monitor social feeds and other news. I just can’t. Yesterday I started my writing workshop at a location far, far away from home, and I thanked the gods that I had a place away, yet, when it was over and I was waiting for CD Rogue to pick me up, I found that I could play Hearthstone. Oh. No. No. No. No.

Let me confess right here and now what I love about Hearthstone the very most, and when I told Dahahka he said something about me truly being an evil nerd:

If only I had this in real life…

 

When I play a Warlock, and the other side places all their goodies on their table, buffed up, doubled up, exponentially awesome, and whether I am about to win or lose (cause you never know in Hearthstone: you could be at 1 health, and still rally), but it’s probably certain I am going to lose, I play this amazing card, and BOOOOOOOOOOM – but here is the nerd part: I will laugh maniacally out loud. Like a cute baby in a video. Like a witch with a freshly waxed broom. Like a crazy woman off her meds. (No one I know, that’s for sure.) It is the most cathartic, deeply satisfying moment in almost any game I’ve played.

I win! (Even if I lose.)