Tag Archives: Gnomes

Beautiful again…

Let's see what these can do...OH MY VELEN!
Let’s see what these can do…OH MY VELEN!

“It lasted for a long time, I believe.”

“A very long time. It was a great success, but even great successes come to a natural end.”
― Isaac AsimovRobots and Empire

Well, I’m not sure if the Azerothian Empire is truly coming to an end. Heck, even Ancient Rome had a shelf life of ‘only’ 500-600 years (trying to do my Before Common Era and Common Era math: give me some good ol’ Anno Domini any day). No, I’m not leaving Azeroth. Not yet anyway. It’s too easy for me to have accounts and alts. But I do hope they pay attention, and quick being such dicks. Such little Caesars about the whole matter. If someone like Tome is canceling her subscription, gentlemen (and it is mostly “gentlemen”) take heed. You’ve exceeded our goodwill limit, and we’ll get all Visigoth and Gaulish on your asses and topple your civilization.

Asterix, Dogmatix, and Obelix...my heroes!
Asterix, Dogmatix, and Obelix…my heroes!

But just when I think there are no new worlds to conquer, I looked in Zep’s bags and found an old pair of Belbi’s Eyesight Enhancing Romance Goggles. I seriously have no idea why I have never tried them on before. Everyone knew this but me, but it turned everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, into a gnome:

bel 2
Okay, Chris, I hope that leather strap isn’t chafing your…or your…oh my. 

bel 4

Et tu, Oscar?
Et tu, Oscar?

What I don’t understand, and maybe I never will, is why the really fun things in Azeroth are temporary, and the shitty grinds, no flying, and falling apart raid teams and mean pick-up groups seem to rule the day? I’m just gonna sit over here with my goggles on and look at all the sexy gnomes.

PS I am a bit concerned about Ceniza. She drank some potion not too long ago and, well, frankly she thinks she looks better as a male;


Kimzee, shush! If Blizzard hears you they’ll take something else away that’s fun! 

Yeah, Kimzee, don't let Blizzard hear you...

OLRG: Overloaded To Do List Edition

Miesha the Kitty
Miesha the Kitty

See my new little gnome priest, Pessah? This is her white kitten, Miesha. We know gnomes are busy little things, always in a hurry, always curious, wanting to get to the next thing, solve the next riddle. However, Miesha made other plans. She decided to lie down in the middle of the warm cobblestone pathway and refused to budge. She needed a nap. Pessah, I understand your frustration. You keep trying to get things done, bless it, but the little white kittens refuse to cooperate. Well, my dear, please tell the Old Ladies that if they can abide, and be patient, if we’re all on together this afternoon, and I have my own “chores” done, (which are many and boring), I hope to see them. I promised Starre another adventure to Firelands, and besides, it’s just fun. You know you can always ping me, pm me, ding me, and dong me on Twitter – @mataoka if you so choose, too.

Postscript: I need to share this:


A Warehouse of Warlocks

No, a “Warehouse of Warlocks” is not sexy. I love trying my hand at collective nouns, and Hasteur offered a great suggestion, “A Shadow Council of Warlocks.” However, I need alliteration, though. NEED IT.

If you come up with something better, please, by all means.

A Worship of Warlocks?

A Waxen of Warlocks? 

A Wayward of Warlocks?

A Wanting of Warlocks? —Hmmm- this has distinct possibilities, because let me introduce you to my latest self-imposed challenge: a warlock in every race available. Why? Well if you have to ask…

But, of course, I have rules.

I always have rules.

1. They must have red/auburn hair

2. They must all reach level 90 by the end of summer (yes, some cheating allowed by gifts of boosts)

3. They must each have a story written for them.

So, who can join the secret warlock club? Cause when you mix blue and red, you get purple.

Representing Alliance:






































Blood Elves




























Lock and Troll
Lock and Troll












She's seen some shit...
She’s seen some shit…










Lovely Escarlata
Lovely Escarlata

When it comes to Warlocks, somehow all my race biases fall away. Worgen look amazing as Warlocks, and of course Orcs are born to the fel-fire. Does it bother me the Horde Warlocks outnumber the Alliance? Perhaps. I love an even playing field, but alas, warlocks are not about playing fair.

And I will ad this – I totally get my dear friend Tome. When I glance in the mirror and see all the flaws, and the weathering, sometimes I just want to pack it in. Forget the lotion and under-eye concealer! I have a hundred little eyes looking at me every day, searching for signs of stress, and they are my little mirrors: “You look happier today, Miss Matty,” or “Yesterday you seemed grumpy, but today you seem better, less stressed.” Really, I don’t even need mirrors anymore. But I looked up the ‘smile in the mirror ad’ this morning, and came across this parody. Now that made me laugh. My Azerothian characters make me smile, and warlocks most of all. If anyone wants to join me in the “Dressed to the Nines” challenge of sorts, please – BYOI (Bring Your Own Imp).

Oh, and this is no octopus, but a demon disguised as one: