now you see me…

You know that vortex that is Azeroth, the one that sucks us in, spinning, swirling, unrelenting? That one? Sure you do. Well, I have news. It operates in reverse, too. Somehow I found the switch the operates the machinery to spin clockwise, like some Southern hemisphere toilet. Oh, Coriolis. You spin me ’round ’round baby ’round round….

Anyway, when I do pop into Azeroth I feel like I’m looking down a well, sans Baby Jessica. TOO SOON MATTY! But one fiery chica still entertains me, and that is Ceniza. Between the glyph and some potions, Ceniza just knocks ’em back like tequila shots on Spring Break, and comes up with some surprising looks:

This is her current mog look: gritty, dark, and suits her combustible nature…

So I don’t blame anyone for not checking in with Sugar & Blood: this July isn’t quite turning out like I thought it would. Nothing bad, just — topsy? Turvey? And you know – the other day I thought, why not take Pessah the little priest in a dungeon, just for fun? It’s been a long time…and I got kicked after one trash pull. And you know? I thought I am just too old for this shit. And feeling like that —better go see a doctor, all I can say.

Focus Fire

Sometimes I just have to tell myself to FOCUS. Good thing I have a pretty purple wolf on Haanta, which inspired her to get off her lazy tail and finish up at least one reputation in Draenor:

Now…to get the crystals and gold to buy the pony:

But, off to work! Onward!

Cheat Sheet.

Just why do some players raise so many alts? I don’t know. I admire those those play one or two classes and thoroughly understand those said classes, including when change happens how to manage and adjust. In my experience, I never quite allow myself to understand and thoroughly study all the classes/specializations I play, but I do all right. (I must confess I get a little miffed when a player tells me things about Mataoka–almost five years and counting, she’s my girl, so back off, Jack.)

This post is for me, all for me, a simple place, where I can click and look up my stats for the girls quickly. If you find it useful, too, great.

Enhancement Shaman:

The stat priority for an Enhancement Shaman is:

1. Agility;
2. Haste (to about 50%);
3. Mastery;
4. Multistrike;
5. Versatility;
6. Critical Strike;
7. Haste (after 50%).

A few explanations are needed here.

• Haste being higher than the other secondary stats until 50%, does not mean that you should stack Haste to 50% before building up any other secondary stat. It merely means that until you reach 50% Haste, you should have more Haste than any other secondary stat.
• Mastery and Multitrike are equal on single-target situations, but Mastery pulls way ahead in AoE situations.
• Versatility and Critical Strike are equal in terms of damage output, but Versatility has the added benefit of reducing the damage you take.

No, no explanations. No. No.

Restoration Shaman:

1. Intellect;
2. Spirit (until you are comfortable with your Mana regeneration);
3. Mastery;
4. Haste;
5. Multistrike = Critical Strike;
6. Versatility.

Balance Druid:

The stat priority for a Balance Druid is:

1. Intellect;
2. Mastery => Critical Strike;
3. Haste;
4. Multistrike;
5. Versatility.

Restoration Druid:

The stat priority for a Restoration Druid is:

1. Intellect;
2. Haste;
3. Mastery;
4. Multistrike;
5. Critical Strike;
6. Versatility;
7. Spirit.

Destruction Warlock:

The stat priority for a Destruction Warlock is:

1. Intellect;
2. Critical Strike;
3. Mastery;
4. Multistrike;
5. Haste;
6. Versatility.

Demonic Warlock:

The stat priority for a Demonology Warlock is:

1. Intellect;
2. Mastery;
3. Critical Strike = Haste = Multistrike;
4. Versatility.

Holy Priest:

We recommend this stat priority for Holy Priests.

1. Multistrike;
2. Haste;
3. Intellect;
4. Mastery;
5. Versatility;
6. Critical Strike.

Shadow Priest:

The stat priority for a Shadow Priest at level 100 depends greatly on the tier 7 talent used. Below, we will present you a stat priority that works quite well in all situations, and then a few specialised priorities.

1.1. General Priority

1. Intellect;
2. Spell Power;
3. Critical Strike;
4. Haste;
5. Multistrike;
6. Versatility
7. Mastery.

keep reading

1.2. Clarity of Power Priorities

1.2.1. Single Target, Traditional

1. Intellect;
2. Spell Power;
3. Mastery;
4. Multistrike;
5. Critical Strike;
6. Haste;
7. Versatility Rating.

1.2.2. Clarity of Power Lite, DoT Weaving, or Multiple Target

1. Intellect;
2. Spell Power;
3. Multistrike;
4. Critical Strike;
5. Haste;
6. Versitility;
7. Mastery.

keep reading

1.3. Void Entropy

1. Intellect;
2. Spell Power;
3. Multistrike;
4. Critical Strike;
5. Haste;
6. Versatility;
7. Mastery.

1.4. Auspicious Spirits

1. Intellect;
2. Spell Power;
3. Critical Strike;
4. Haste;
5. Multistrike;
6. Versitility;
7. Mastery.

STOP RIGHT THERE: DO YOU SEE A PROBLEM?

too many word things with things to say words that what that say words saying things with words

Protection Paladin:

The stat priority for Protections Paladins is as follows:

1. Bonus Armor;
2. Haste;
3. Critical Strike (if you are using the  Seraphim talent);
4. Mastery;
5. Critical Strike;
6. Versatility;
7. Multistrike.

Fire Mage:

The stat priority for a Fire Mage is:

1. Intellect;
2. Critical Strike;
3. Mastery;
4. Multistrike = Haste;
5. Versatility.

Mastery, Multistrike, and Haste are relatively close in value. When choosing an upgrade, simply choose whichever has a highest Critical Strike and either Mastery, Multistrike, or Haste. (That’s easy to remember.)

Beast Mastery Hunter:

The stat priority for a Beast Mastery Hunter is:

1. Weapon DPS;
2. Agility;
3. Multistrike;
4. Mastery;
5. Versatility;
6. Haste;
7. Critical Strike.

Not even going to touch Monk healing, Warrior-ing or Rogues today. Or Death Knights. I miss my monk, Sajja, very much, and Heartichoke is lonesome, as gnomes often are. In the meantime, I’ll keep trying to get what these girls need, save some gems and enchants, and stash away gold for all those repair bills. They’re going to need it.

Coconut Grass Hair Orangutan

My writing mojo has been a bit…wilted. Not sure why. Well, I suspect things, but denial runs deep in me. Driving home today I saw this thing on the road that looked like a huge pile of coconut grass hair. It was probably just an old T-shirt and sadness, but it reminded me of those monkeys made from coconuts, but it was fairly large, so I made it into a road orangutan. Pitiful thing. I must memorialize it.

So many random thoughts. “Ceniza” earned her cloak the other day. I am a terrible mage. It made me think of all the qualities of true alt players: we truly are Jack of All Trades, and Master of No Specs. I can’t play Arcane, Frost, and though I raised her as Fire, even Young Leet Druid tells me, “Fire is too hard.” It is. The cast times are ridiculous, the procs are far too tier gear dependent, and Ceniza just looks pissed off most of the time. But I love her, you know? She’s sad, and complicated, and passionate: she wants to set the world on fire, but the counter-spells are too strong. I wish I could just hug her, and kiss her fevered brow. It’s going to be all right, sweet mage…

 

This is when I just want to cry. It seems that none of my beautiful girls know where they are headed. When my misperceived free will questions my faith that I can change things, be better, do better: it is not meant to be. But you are still beautiful, Ash Witch.

 

How do you solve a problem like Ceniza?

But baby, you always look hot…

Ceniza, my dear, keep trying. I talked Hawtpocket into letting me take Ceniza into the first two wings of SoO normal, and with her mixed bag of gear and her human’s many struggles trying to make Fire Mage viable, she hobbled along. She managed to get some upgrades, but until it’s tier, it’s toast.

Ceniza’s spells…with jelly

Oh , and that Black Prince buff? Lies. All lies. She needs six seven more Titan Runestones, the heart of Lei, exact change for bus fare, soliloquies with dragons, four Celestial beat-downs, lint from a bumblebee’s bellybutton, and a stern talking-to before she gets that cloak. Why do I even want it? It doesn’t really matter. She’s always been the afterthought-mage, but still tugs at my heart. She lights match after match to get that pyroblast to proc, and then slips on ice and misses the target. She has a lot of pride, though, and is meaner than a warlock, so watch out. She’ll get that cloak, and in due time. Just you wait.

 

The Worst.

This is a tale of two cloaks, closing in on the end of an expansion, neglected and beloved characters who, hats and helms in hand, requested of their human to just see…just try…and it turns into a tale of OCD, annoyance, and losing zen.

Haanta, dutifully, and sans complaint, scoured the Timeless Isle, picking up whatever scraps of leather, like some bloodthirsty park keeper, and getting pretty decent gear from Ordos. Why not get a cloak? WHY NOT?! She was lagging behind the others, and she needed to get the 3000 Valor Points for Wrathion. What he’s doing with all this stuff: might as well be collecting ears and toe nail clippings, the little creep. Turns out, and I had forgotten this, the good and bad news: you can purchase valor with Timeless Isle coins: valor cap is 1000 per week.

Okay, okay, so she’ll wait, no big whoop. And then week three:

2980/3000
WHATTHE

All right, all right, deep cleansing breaths: Ceniza, how are you doing? You’re further along the process, and how she got further along I have no idea. Mages. Must have been moonlighting for arcane power and sheep herding late at night when no one was looking. Anyway, all she needs now are the Secrets. Then the thing. Then the other

Ceniza: I get it

thing. And the trillium, mustn’t forget that. And the other stones and stuff, and then the other stuff and things. But Ceniza still, (and I’ll slip into third-person voice to repress this) is a terrible fire mage. She is. I did some cursory reading of Icy Veins, and some things are starting to make sense. But some things—aren’t. Her gear’s not great, but it’s not bad, and she’s always playing blink-catch up, and it’s on cool down.

She always looks fantastic though, because that’s what matters:

The Green Mage

But after much thought, I realized if “they” don’t fix this thing with the Area 51 Alien bug eyes, every character will be a Dwarf:

 

Every. Last. One.

But hey, it’s not the end of the world, is it? All in due time. Unless of course you want to play in my end of the world mog contest, then yes, tomorrow is the day. Email me your entry and screenshot – mataoka. of.exodar@gmail.com. Till then–and be glad hair styles have changed: