Tag Archives: Trolls

You poked my heart…

The reality is not nearly as charming…

Do you smell that? That pungent, distinct odor of Hot Cheetos and Mountain Dew breath, mixed with unwashed socks and crotch rot? Oh yes, the trolls have come out to play. The shadow of pre-expansion boredom has drawn its shade over our better sense, and no one truly gives a damn anymore. So many warned us, tried to tell us that over time, diminished guild loyalties and Looking For’s would lead to decreased social bonds and the newer millennial creative ways of trolling. It even gets deep, in the marriage bed and other places. It’s a serious issue. Now there have been some trolls who have earned infamous notoriety, but those have met with their comeuppance. (Or have they?) 


Yesterday was trying to hurt Ordos, and a young squire named Hellfrost-Arygos was in the raid, and apparently he forgot what he was doing when he accepted his invitation, because he said in raid chat, “I’m in the Barrens. Summon me.” Well, shucks Hellfrost, you’re in the Barrens, the warlock’s not here, and no one is really all that concerned about you. You’re not the tank, you’re not a healer, you’re just another pretty face in the raid.

Oh Hellfrost...you jokester!
Oh Hellfrost…you jokester!

He sought his revenge by doing something so clever, so trolling mctrolly troll, I was both impressed and then completely aggravated. He repeatedly hit it, in succession, hit the raid count down timer. When I saw repeatedly, I mean – about 40 times. He finally got kicked when we could, but not before I broke my vow of silence to trolls and called him a f8cker. Yes, I fed the troll with my sweet, sweet profanity juice. He grew in power and stature, safe behind the computer screen of anonymous legions. Now he is not the only troll encounter. Heard on Vent tonight folks complaining of LFR and the amount of trolls, just trying to Valor Cap and move on. I gave up on LFR a long time ago. Even last Tuesday there was a moment when I realized a gentleman in our raid group was trolling us. Well, not me, in fact, I told one beautiful woman to stop talking to him. Trolls are everywhere, and most advice includes not feeding them, and ignoring them. I think what infuriated me the most is when I tried to report young Hellsfrost Blizzard’s report button only gave me two options: Name. Or Cheating. Where is the: “This player is a f*c6i@g douch*b*g?” button? No, I joke. But seriously, cheating?! How was he cheating? There has to be another option. But not that I hold out much hope that he would be banned or stop. We shouldn’t ignore them. Bur I do agree they are “attacking boredom” most of the time. But that is where the rage is born: when others steal our time, an irreplaceable commodity. We can argue about it all day long, but in the end, trolls hurt us.

A Warehouse of Warlocks

No, a “Warehouse of Warlocks” is not sexy. I love trying my hand at collective nouns, and Hasteur offered a great suggestion, “A Shadow Council of Warlocks.” However, I need alliteration, though. NEED IT.

If you come up with something better, please, by all means.

A Worship of Warlocks?

A Waxen of Warlocks? 

A Wayward of Warlocks?

A Wanting of Warlocks? —Hmmm- this has distinct possibilities, because let me introduce you to my latest self-imposed challenge: a warlock in every race available. Why? Well if you have to ask…

But, of course, I have rules.

I always have rules.

1. They must have red/auburn hair

2. They must all reach level 90 by the end of summer (yes, some cheating allowed by gifts of boosts)

3. They must each have a story written for them.

So, who can join the secret warlock club? Cause when you mix blue and red, you get purple.

Representing Alliance:






































Blood Elves




























Lock and Troll
Lock and Troll












She's seen some shit...
She’s seen some shit…










Lovely Escarlata
Lovely Escarlata

When it comes to Warlocks, somehow all my race biases fall away. Worgen look amazing as Warlocks, and of course Orcs are born to the fel-fire. Does it bother me the Horde Warlocks outnumber the Alliance? Perhaps. I love an even playing field, but alas, warlocks are not about playing fair.

And I will ad this – I totally get my dear friend Tome. When I glance in the mirror and see all the flaws, and the weathering, sometimes I just want to pack it in. Forget the lotion and under-eye concealer! I have a hundred little eyes looking at me every day, searching for signs of stress, and they are my little mirrors: “You look happier today, Miss Matty,” or “Yesterday you seemed grumpy, but today you seem better, less stressed.” Really, I don’t even need mirrors anymore. But I looked up the ‘smile in the mirror ad’ this morning, and came across this parody. Now that made me laugh. My Azerothian characters make me smile, and warlocks most of all. If anyone wants to join me in the “Dressed to the Nines” challenge of sorts, please – BYOI (Bring Your Own Imp).

Oh, and this is no octopus, but a demon disguised as one: