OLRG: Lock-Down Drill

So many little nagging check-off boxes, so many little scratching, nesting, messy hoarding things to do in Azeroth. Just as well it’s getting a bit tedious, not so much so I look forward to WoD, but to get me to focus on other things. Life things. BUT – these little things are fun, I suppose. We tried to finish off Dragon Soul and Bastion of Twilight, but just didn’t have the warm bodies to finish it on heroic, and that spine…that spine tried the patience of even the most solid of players. It’s like learning a dance step, though: tentacles, amalgams, stacks of nine, blow up, snap tendon, repeat…cha cha cha!

But I have faith in us Old Ladies. We can finish up Bastions on heroic, and I know we can get through Dragon Soul. We need to, because of you know, Blazing Drake and stuff. I can solo Eye of Eternity on only four characters: Ceniza, Haanta, Mataoka, and Kellda. Each of these ladies has the initial damage output to wear down Malygos enough so that during the vehicle/dragon phase, he doesn’t kill me by attrition. So far Haanta managed to get her hands on the Azure drake, but the Blue one eludes us.

One down, one to go…

And there’s something I explained to our dear sweet friend Zwingli yesterday. He and I played a few rounds on Hearthstone together – grand fun. I told him I always ‘squelch’ the player so that before they completely annihilate me and say the worst trolling words of all time: “Well Played.” NO – NO WELL PLAYED! NO!

He thought they were just being nice.

No, they are not being nice. This is the Hearthstone version of trolling. For example, this priest, who minion-napped my Archemage, and hit spell after spell so that he had a deck full of fireballs, was about to wipe me out, and he hesitated? You bore me, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY.

Screw you, priest.

Hmmm…what else is new? Not much. Please come out and try to play on Saturday afternoons if you can – I held the lock out, though I don’t really understand how it works. I don’t understand how any of this works sometimes. Oh well. Time to dance!

 

OLRG: Aces Up Our Sleeves

Up in smoke…Ordos, is that you?

Old Ladies Raiding Guild: time to put up or shut up. Tome – it doesn’t matter if you don’t play Hearthstone. It’s as addictive as nicotine and twice as dangerous. Like my dad says, nothing good happens after midnight, and no good can come of playing this stupid, stupid game. But I will say one thing you’ve got going on baby girl is a way to go to the end of the world in style! I knew I forgot to post a rule on the contest, and that is to not post anything on a blog beforehand. This does not disqualify anyone who has though. Our psychic friendship and bond of the HOTFB includes me waking up and the first thing I think about is – “Gee, I wonder if I should write another post about the contest?” and booyah! There it is! You rock, Tome. I also thought how obnoxious it is for me to give people little contests which I’m sure by now feel more like chores than fun. Like I asked everyone, “Hey, let’s go to the carnival!” while they’re barfing up cotton candy in the parking lot trashcans.

So–sorry for this OLRG post being late, too. Again, if ya’ll are around I’d love to go hang out. I’ll stop playing Hearthstone long enough to focus on what matters -my friends. Because it certainly isn’t anything else around here!  (Glances over at cobwebs and breadcrumbs…)

How do they do that?

Quick Report:

Yesterday (Friday) I had a great day of just exploring: Mataoka flew all over Pandaria and finished up Glorious! She had to kill poor Ai-Li a few thousand times before she relinquished the Sky Mirror. Mataoka’s bags are full. Really full. I was wondering how did players end up looking like giant rabbits and dinosaurs, and I am still not sure. I will say one good idea is to drink Potion of Illusion and use the Sky Mirror. I want to pick up a piece of jewelry, too, from a goblin named Tex. What could go wrong?

And instead of buying another cloak for Zeptepi, I decided a Fox Kit was in order. Damn, those things are cute!! Well what else is there to do when it’s a long ways to payday, and days are lazy and long but to treat oneself to a dancing fox kit? Oh, go and pick up a green porcupine, naturally! Except Haanta couldn’t do it alone. A friend from her former guild came to her rescue and Hutia was hers!

Hutia: Instant Camo

/dies of cuteness

Let’s see, let’s see, what else? It’s a new moon this weekend and folks at the Matty-shack will be doing some astronomy, which is a GOOD THING because CD Rogue has been having continuing medical issues and neither of us are getting a lot of good sleep lately. So, while star gazing happens I plan on sleeping. It seems to work better if I leave my Hearthstone game far, far away. The thing is, there are still many things to do in Azeroth before the world ends. Again. And we have to save it. Again.

If there is ANYTHING you want to do to help you get something done or obtained please let me know –I’m at your service!

Oh and see, it’s not just women who suffer from BRF, but rock stars too:

Jack White’s Face

 

 

 

 

Itsy Bitsy I PULLED YOUR LEGS OFF! (quick update)

How, you ask? What amazing strategies do you have? Well, Jaina may be a terrible mage in Azeroth but she’s a helluva card player. And it took many, many, attempts, a lot of luck, more luck, and add a dash of luck.

Here is a screenshot of the winning hand:

Authentic RTMT: Roam If You Want To Edition

For years since I’ve written this blog, it’s been the junk-drawer level vault of my randomness. There are just a lot of things we all “might need” someday (but probably won’t). I am going to make a case, however, for junk drawers. You may, you know, need those cocktail  olive toothpicks, because James Bond may come over for a shaken-not-stirred, and you’ll want to do it up right. You may purchase some local crabs and need those lobster/crab crackers. Maybe. It could happen. And of course, those batteries that may or may not still be good–and the super glue. That is where super glue magically resides when you don’t need it. It disappears the instant you break something that requires its services. Kind of like a dead-beat.

So in my wanderings, I’ve stumbled across a few things you may or may not need.

Wheeeee!

Elfi wrote an adorable post about the Dun Morogh Sledders. Every time I pass by I give them a wave. Well last night Keilei, my Night Elf huntress (we’ll discuss my huntresses another time) felt restless, and wanted to hone her skinning skills. She took a wrong turn, and saw a cave on the side of a mountain. This cave is hidden by the large IRONFORGE banner on the map. Inside the cave are two Dwarfs: a lady and a gentlemen. And they are drinking. And dancing. And….awkward! Though Keilei was invited to join them, she declined and bowed out. Get out?! Bowed out? A hunter! Woot! PUN!

Party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!

So now you know where to find them; peek in, but don’t stay. They are trying to get warm.

Cozy Cottage

Keilei continued. She flew over Gilneas, and lo and behold, so many abandoned cottages! She was tempted to be a squatter and set up permanent residency in one, but you know, the whole ‘forsaken’ problem and there was the unmistakable smell of pestilence in the air. But still….what a waste!

Green is the new black…

Oh, and I think we need a new mog contest. Not sure what. But something. Check back in later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Heartstone…Mistakes Were Made

So this is why multitasking is bad. And if by ‘multitasking’ I mean having a rum and Coke, watching TV with CD Rogue, playing Hearthstone, and listening to him tell me funny Reddit stories, yes. That’s what I mean. See that sheep card? That sheep card used to be Ragnaros. It was, until I mistakenly didn’t drag the card to its proper position, and yes, I ‘sheeped’ my own card. Right then and there I wish I had an emote that said, “I am too stupid to play right now. You win this one.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Death by Murlocs…OLRG Rides Again, and Mrs. Whitworth Has Regrets

This was your plan all along, wasn’t it, Mr. Snerguls?

 

Have you been playing Hearthstone lately? I have. Yes. Yes I have. And I wanted to warn you of a disturbing trend: in the past 24-hours or so I have had my tail handed to me by decks stacked with murloc cards. It doesn’t matter the class: priest, warrior, shaman: all have trounced me within the first few moves with their clever plays of Old Murkeye and Murloc Warriors, and scouts and such. And I mean TROUNCED. Gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em? Did you know playing cards with Kenny Rogers gets old, fast? So does playing with decks stacked with murlocs.

These murloc cards are incredibly overpowered:

No.

I am tempted to start a heavy-handed murloc deck myself, just to see. But it seems somehow…Cheaty McCheaty Pants. One thing I love about Hearthstone is its true nature to the class of the deck: oh sure, the neutral cards round out otherwise thin premises of decks. But what makes each class enjoyable to play is their very nature: polymorphing with a mage, or enraged brawls with warriors, doubling health with priests, and using lightning bolt lightning bolt with shamans. Here is my proposal: if murlocs are going to take over the world of Hearthstone, then perhaps they deserve their own deck? Hmmm? Would you like that, Mr. Snerguls? Or is this your plan all along, to take over Azeroth one small, slimy fin at a time until your girth takes over? I have always smirked at the foot soldiers in Elwynn Forest whose untimely death by murlocs is not only fishy but gruesome. All we heroes find is a pile of meat and bones. I tried to find an image of said meat and bones, but all I could find was this:

Fish Tacos are Delicious

 

This served to underscore my suspicions further. Carnivorous murlocs setting up a taquería in Elwynn Forest? Perhaps if they are making chipotle-lime sauce ones, but still, not sure I could get the image of stupid foot soldiers who can’t even handle a few frog people out of the taste…

Fish Tacos….mmmmmmmm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OLRG: There are no words.

If nothing stops these ladies, nothing will stop us!

And on a completely unrelated note–I confessed to Tome a few weeks ago one reason I was having trouble with Mrs. Whitworth is the addition of a kitten in her life. It doesn’t fit. What was I thinking? And then I saw this image:

BRING ME MINIONS, NOT KITTENS!

So I’m not sure where Mrs. W stands, narrative-wise. We may never hear from her again. She was working for the Supreme Court making a case, but sadly her 30-page dissent went unheeded. Much like a delicious blueberry pie I baked in 1989, a blueberry pie so perfect, so exquisite, its like was never to be baked again, I haven’t baked one since. One-hit wonder, as it were. In the meantime, I have long summer days ahead of me, and many scraps and story-starts to organize. I recently purchased a program called Scrivener and it’s pretty fancy-schmancy.

As far as Momokawa and the Staff of Unattainable Perfection of Fiery Kitty from Fandral is concerned, be careful, Señor Fandral: I may leave a box of adorable kittens on your doorstep and see how that brings you to your knees. Give me the staff, punk. Or I’ll make fish tacos out of you.

Eight-ball

 

 

 

 

 

Et tu, Tome? Oh no – it’s happening. Betas going out, folks posting about WoD, and I am having to avoid reading my favorite blogs because I don’t want to know anything. See anything. Think about anything. I am in blissful ignorance. Actually, I don’t blame Tome one bit. She is my sister of the Helm of the Fierce Bison clan, after all, and those bonds run deeper than garrison posts or Khadgar fashion. Way deeper. No one gets between me and my Tome.

Helm of the Fierce Bison Sisterhood

But let me tell you something about ignorance: it is expensive. Take for example how many times I was taking items in and out of the void bank, paying high interest rates, when young leet druid told me that that had been fixed long ago, that you can just tab on a button while in the dressing room of mog and see all of your gear/fashion. /stupidme And there was something else that happened recently where I did something so stupid, simply because I wasn’t keeping up with WoW Insider news recently. I cannot keep up with it all, and monitor social feeds and other news. I just can’t. Yesterday I started my writing workshop at a location far, far away from home, and I thanked the gods that I had a place away, yet, when it was over and I was waiting for CD Rogue to pick me up, I found that I could play Hearthstone. Oh. No. No. No. No.

Let me confess right here and now what I love about Hearthstone the very most, and when I told Dahahka he said something about me truly being an evil nerd:

If only I had this in real life…

 

When I play a Warlock, and the other side places all their goodies on their table, buffed up, doubled up, exponentially awesome, and whether I am about to win or lose (cause you never know in Hearthstone: you could be at 1 health, and still rally), but it’s probably certain I am going to lose, I play this amazing card, and BOOOOOOOOOOM – but here is the nerd part: I will laugh maniacally out loud. Like a cute baby in a video. Like a witch with a freshly waxed broom. Like a crazy woman off her meds. (No one I know, that’s for sure.) It is the most cathartic, deeply satisfying moment in almost any game I’ve played.

I win! (Even if I lose.)

 

Hearthstoned.

Only 9%? Seems low.

There are times when I am grateful my guildmate Señor is not one of my battletag friends, for if he was he would see how many hours I’ve wasted on Hearthstone. I’m not sure what snapped into me: when I first played it for the mount, it aggravated the snot out of me. But then something clicked–probably that usual endorphine, lizard-brain, peck-for-the-pellet activity that ruins lives and destroys families. Dishes? Dinner? Pffft. Just try to compete with a summon random totem spell from Thrall, or the “You asked for it” confidence of Jaina. It was recently released for the i-Pad, too: now I just have to talk CD Rogue into letting me buy one. No, Matty! NOOOOOO. Just. No.

Stop.

No.

Okay, one more round….