One good title achievement and I think I can take a blogging vacation. What snaps me out of it? Good loot, a winning smile? Or this: National Squirrel Appreciation Day, naturally! Today I really needed some reminders about fluffy tails, acorn addictions, and nut jobs, because I realized from the moment I wake up to the second I crash I am thinking all the thoughts. ALL OF THEM. Stash worries and to-do lists like so many stashed pecans.
There are things in Azeroth that have no other value than simply being a point of pride for me. Things that will be swept out to sea once the Orcs arrive. My most monumental challenge or ‘stupid goal’ is to get Drunken Fish to level 25 before Warlords comes out. (Did you ever hear of S.M.A.R.T. goals? Well I have S.T.U.P.I.D. goals: Slow, Tedious, Unimportant, Petulant, Insipid, and Dumb.) Fortunately, Breige came to my rescue (trust me, Señor does not care: he is smart), and brought along some of her friends from her other server. Misty created a human paladin, and has, for weeks, been leveling this faithful, consistent paladin from Level 1 to…crud, what level is she now? Eighty-five? More? And her mate, who has gone from Level 1 to well into the Level 30s. They were on when the guild hit Level 24 last night. I can’t think of enough ways to thank them–love doesn’t seem like enough. Know where I was? Drinking tequila and watching Neighbors. Some help I am.
Hammer that nail! Lift that 2×4!
So — my very creative Azerothian friends — what ways would you celebrate and show gratitude to virtual strangers who do kind things? I feel like I’ve fallen in with a group of Amish farmers who helped me raise my barn, even though I am a heathen. Elune be praised!
I am also interested in things in Azeroth that are important to you, but don’t really help your game play, or your future in WoD.
Today’s Random Tuesday Morning Thought is brought to you by the letter P and the feeling of O, as in, “Oh, I am really anxious about this.”
Mrs. Potts IS Angela Lansbury!
“Personification” is one of my favorite figurative language terms. So simple in definition, yet provides so much richness to our imaginations. Whenever illustrating personification one of the most accessible ways is to think about the characters in Disney’s ‘Beauty and the Beast.’ Each tea pot and candlestick has its own personality, every feather duster and door knob. It’s magical.
Even Carmen from Art of Carmen puts her own spin on Azerothian characters. They tend to be salaciously sexualized and entertainingly sinful: note the little “devil’s tail” in the smile of the Draenei below:
My dear friend Plaid Elf much more kindly pointed out some of her disappointment, too.
We were all so excited, but what we got was Low Budget Beasts. Scratch that. Low Budget Beasts have character and grit, even if ofttimes poorly executed cosplay. At least they try!
When many of us saw the ‘sketchbook’ if you will of our new characters we were delighted. All except me, who immediately saw the dead-eyes, too narrow of jaw, and sexless, plastic lips– to me, the new Draenei female models look like they’ve been on a three-day bender of Botox and Velen sold their souls to Illidan. Am I that unhappy? Yes. When I showed the Beta model of the female Dwarf, with richness and vibrance to the art, that is what I was pointing to, what I wanted. I feel that this is somehow Blizzard’s passive-aggressive means to take two of the most beautiful female races (Draenei and Night Elf) in Azeroth, and instead of making ALL races rich, vibrant and…looking for a word here...they did what they always do: break the good in an effort to level some imaginary playing field. Now – I’m going to try to say this next thing as carefully as I can, but I’ll probably get misunderstood: Tauren, Troll, and Dwarf females were often thought of as not the “beautiful” races. First, I disagree. Big time. But Blizzard did give them a richness and nuances that served to enhance their natural beauty. (We haven’t seen Troll yet, but I am betting the farm they are ‘new and improved: even the Forsaken has left us feeling forsaken.) Careful framing, shading, and line work that only added to their beauty. I wish the good and talented artists at Blizzard would take a step back and go study the artists of Disney,Hayao Miyazaki, and Pixar. Heck, even Tim Burton would add some grit. Let him redesign the Forsaken! And second, shame on Blizzard if that is their plan, to somehow make the “pretty” girls “ugly” as a way of compensating for something that didn’t need to be paid.
Now maybe I can get the word to Blizzard. I know they keep saying it’s just the Beta, and not providing me any mental relief as far as what the future holds for my Draenei and Night Elf clan. I will say I’ve been delighted with the addition of a Dwarf shaman named Mollei. Remember Mollie MacBallbuster? She is all kinds of delightful. Sometimes I have error speech on, and when she says in her little Scottish accent, “I’m oot of mann-ah!” I crack up, as her braids twirl with every spell. At least I can count on her to stay beautiful, inside and out.
You ask, “Matty, what is the inspiration for this contest?” So many places – where to start? The anticipation levels for WoD are reaching fever pitch. Even in OLRG I was reminded that one woman’s definition of spoiler may not be mine. When I say ‘spoiler’ I mean NOTHING – I don’t even watch movie trailers sometimes because I want it to be a fresh experience. Perhaps, though, I am too constricted in my thinking. Just because I didn’t get a Beta Invite doesn’t mean I have to be all crabby about it. NooOOOoooooo. Look, I went to last year’s Blizzcon and got to take a peak behind the curtains, and WoD is going to be awesome. I get that. But meanwhile, Rome is burning, baby, and it’s time to start fiddling! The real world is in some serious trouble, people. And when even Mt. Fuji is about to blow up her skirt, what else can Azerothians do but a Mogging Contest? So, while we’re waiting for the rivers to rise and the plastic in the oceans to just all disappear, let’s mog!
The Rules:
1. Outfit must be suitable to end-of-the-world survival. Justify every piece of gear on this scale:
Survivability: can this character survive – now be creative in this. A warlock dressed as a priest? Sure. A rogue tricking others? Sounds fine.
Flexibility: must be able to go from land to sea with no muss, no fuss
Recycled – no new or latest gear; can mix and match mail with cloth, etc.
In other words, a brief explanation on why you chose each piece of gear.
2. Have pet, will travel: you must choose one of your pets (in addition to a hunter, mage, warlock, etc. normal pet) as your traveling companion a la Will Smith I Am Legend style. Give a brief explanation on why this is your pet of choice, and how you two plan on surviving the upcoming apocalypse.
3. Format: Screenshot (Mogit is fine) and small text explaining the above. A secret judge will make the final decision. Send this to me at mataoka.of.exodar@gmail.com by July 31. Decision will be made by August 9.
First place: $25 gift card for Blizzard
Second place: $15 gift card
Third place: I don’t know. Whatever I have lying around. You might get nothing and like it.
If you have any questions, post them here or send me an e-mail. However, that doesn’t mean I’ll answer them. For those of you concrete-sequential types this may be frustrating, because my vague and open-ended (lack of) explanations drive folks nuts. It’s the end of the world, after all, and many rules don’t apply.
Sugar&Blood 
